Tough. That's Freddy Martinez and his friend, Cara. They're not afraid of anything. But that was before they went exploring in Freddy's basement. Before they found the secret room. Before they found the bottle of Vampire Breath.
Poor Freddy and Cara. They should have never opened that bottle of Vampire Breath. Because now there's a vampire in Freddy's basement. And he's very, very thirsty....
Charley Maplewood has never been one for parties-that would require friends, which he doesn't have. But now that he's turning ten-the big one-oh-he decides to throw a birthday party for himself, complete with a "House of Horrors" theme and a big birthday cake.
Of course things don't work out as Charley plans. In trying to make friends, he ends up inviting the class bully Cougar to come, and that's before he ruins the cake and burns down the garage. By the time of the big day, Charley's home really is a house of horrors. Will Charley be able to pull it together before the big one-oh becomes the big OH-NO!?
From start to finish, The Big One-Oh is a laugh-out-loud riot, and any listener will relate to the pressures Charley faces both at school and at home in planning his special day. So put on your party hat and celebrate The Big One-Oh today!
I'm a brand-new man with a brand-new plan."
Joey Pigza is knocked for a loop when his good-for-nothing dad shows up on his doorstep as a recycled person. After a lucky lotto win, Carter Pigza truly believes he's somebody else. He's even renamed himself Charles Heinz-and he insists that Joey and his mother join his happy Heinz family plan.
"My head felt like it was full of bees, and they were busy in ways that were bad for me."
Joey has little choice but to embrace a head-spinning series of changes, which include having to leave school to help out at the beat-up roadside diner his dad has purchased. But Joey is afraid that in going with the flow he will go over the falls and end up in a place far away from who he really is.
In this seriously comic new novel, Jack Gantos pushes his acclaimed hero into entirely new territory, where he wrestles with issues of identity and forgiveness, and teaches himself how to triple-flip a turkey burger while shouting out his new favorite phrase . . .
"Do you want fries with that?
The weirdest Christmas story in the history of the world!
Dan Gutman has written many weird books for kids. He lives in New Jersey (a very weird place) with his weird wife and two weird children.
The wackiest road trip in history has reached its final destination. . . .
But Coke and Pepsi McDonald aren't in the clear just yet! Before they reach the finish line, the twins will be
Abducted by aliens,
Trapped with a venomous snake,
Pushed through a deadly turbine, and
Thrown into a volcano.
Craziest of all, their parents might finally believe them!
Will the twins make it back home to California in one piece, or will they fall off the top of the Golden Gate Bridge? It's all coming to an end with this fifth book in the Genius Files series. You'll have to read it to believe it!
Humor and action abound in this second follow-up to the Newbery honor winner and New York Times bestseller, Three Times Lucky
The trial of the century has come to Tupelo Landing, NC. Mo and Dale, aka Desperado Detectives, head to court as star witnesses against Dale's daddy--confessed kidnapper Macon Johnson. Dale's nerves are jangled, but Mo, who doesn't mind getting even with Mr. Macon for hurting her loved ones, looks forward to a slam dunk conviction--if everything goes as expected.
Of course nothing goes as expected. Macon Johnson sees to that. In no time flat, Macon's on the run, Tupelo Landing's in lockdown, and Dale's brother's life hangs in the balance. With Harm Crenshaw, newly appointed intern, Desperado Detectives are on the case. But it means they have to take on a tough client--one they'd never want in a million years.
For everyone who's already fallen for Mo and Dale, and for anyone who's new to Tupelo Landing, The Odds of Getting Even is a heartwarming story that perfectly blends mystery and action with more serious themes about family and fathers, all without ever losing its sense of humor.
Meet the World's Funniest Kindergartner—Junie B. Jones!
It's a mushy gushy mystery! With over 50 million books in print, Barbara Park's New York Times bestselling chapter book series, Junie B. Jones, is a classroom favorite and has been keeping kids laughing—and reading—for over 20 years! In the 14th Junie B. Jones book, February 14—Valentime's Day, as June B. calls it—is just around the corner. Junie B. can't wait to see all the valentimes she'll get. But she never expected a big, mushy card from a secret admirer! Who is this secret mystery guy, anyway? Junie B. is determined to find out.
USA TODAY:
"Junie B. is the darling of the young-reader set."
Publisher's Weekly:
"Park convinces beginning readers that Junie B.—and reading—are lots of fun."
Kirkus Reviews:
"Junie's swarms of young fans will continue to delight in her unique take on the world….A hilarious, first-rate read-aloud."
Time Magazine:
"Junie B. Jones is a feisty six-year-old with an endearing penchant for honesty."
Meet the World's Funniest Kindergartner—Junie B. Jones!
With over 50 million books in print, Barbara Park's New York Times bestselling chapter book series, Junie B. Jones, is a classroom favorite and has been keeping kids laughing—and reading—for over 20 years! In the 8th Junie B. Jones book, Junie B. knows there's no such thing as monsters. Mother and Daddy even said so. But then why is there monster drool on Junie B.'s pillow? Oh, no! What if Paulie Allen Puffer is right—what if she really does have a monster under her bed? If Junie B. goes to sleep, the monster might see her feet hanging down. And he might think her piggy toes are yummy little wiener sausages!
USA TODAY:
"Junie B. is the darling of the young-reader set."
Publisher's Weekly:
"Park convinces beginning readers that Junie B.—and reading—are lots of fun."
Kirkus Reviews:
"Junie's swarms of young fans will continue to delight in her unique take on the world….A hilarious, first-rate read-aloud."
Time Magazine:
"Junie B. Jones is a feisty six-year-old with an endearing penchant for honesty."
From Chris Grabenstein, the bestselling author of Escape from Mr. Lemoncello’s Library and coauthor with James Patterson of I Funny, House of Robots, and Treasure Hunters, comes the second hilarious, fun-in-the-sun adventure in his new illustrated series about all the wacky things that happen when you live in a motel!
There’s always something wacky happening when you live in a motel, and P.T. (named after P. T. Barnum, of course) has grown up at the world’s wackiest! When word gets out that the hottest teen idols in Hollywood (plus current YouTube sensation Kevin the Monkey!) will be filming their next movie—Beach Party Surf Monkey—right in St. Pete’s Beach, Florida, P.T. and his friend Gloria know that the Wonderland would be the perfect location. Now they just have to convince the producers!
But when things start to go wrong (crazed fans? missing stars?), it will take all of Gloria’s business genius and P.T.’s wild stories to save the movie before both it and the Wonderland are all washed up!
BONUS: Includes fun extras like P.T. and Gloria’s Famous Fact-or-Fiction Quiz: Movie Edition
Here's What People are saying about Welcome to Wonderland!
"Classic Grabenstein. The mystery should satisfy Grabenstein’s “Mr. Lemoncello” followers, and the humor and visuals will appeal to fans of his collaborations with James Patterson. This new series should be a hit."—School Library Journal
“A delight. P.T. is a hoot and a half. A funny, madcap dash. Grabenstein . . . threads in a mystery that blooms in the last act and that puts this particular read over the top."—Kirkus Reviews
“Charm galore. Easy and breezy, this well-paced novel . . . belongs in the hands of any readers wanting their bad guys bad, their good guys great, and a little of Wonderland’s promised fun in the sun.”—The Bulletin of the Center for Children’s Books
A #1 New York Times bestselling phenomenon, this deliciously funny read-aloud from the creators of Robo-Sauce and Secret Pizza Party will make you laugh until spicy salsa comes out of your nose.
Dragons love tacos. They love chicken tacos, beef tacos, great big tacos, and teeny tiny tacos. So if you want to lure a bunch of dragons to your party, you should definitely serve tacos. Buckets and buckets of tacos. Unfortunately, where there are tacos, there is also salsa. And if a dragon accidentally eats spicy salsa . . . oh, boy. You're in red-hot trouble.
The award-winning team of Adam Rubin and Daniel Salmieri has created an unforgettable tale of new friends and the perfect snack.
Paddington has warmed the hearts of generations of readers with his earnest good intentions and humorous misadventures. This new audiobook edition of the classic novel contains the original text by Michael Bond.
If Paddington Bear learned anything from his Uncle Pastuzo, it’s that home is where you hang your hat. And for Paddington, nothing feels quite like home than being with the Brown family. Whether Paddington is starring in a surprise concert performance while eating a marmalade sandwich or thwarting a burglary attempt from Gentleman Dan, the Drainpipe Man, this one-of-a-kind bear keeps the Brown family home full of adventure and laughter.
First published in 2008, Paddington Here and Now is the twelfth classic novel about Michael Bond’s beloved classic character, Paddington Bear.
An Instant New York Times Bestseller * An Instant Indie Bestseller * An Indie Next List Selection
Feeling fried★ Peel yourself on the couch and meet your new pal-tato! The winning fourth picture book from the #1 New York Times bestselling creators of The Bad Seed, The Good Egg, and The Cool Bean, Jory John and Pete Oswald, will get you and your kids moving!
The Couch Potato has everything within reach and doesn't have to move from the sunken couch cushion. But when the electricity goes out, Couch Potato is forced to peel away from the comforts of the living room and venture outside. Could fresh air and sunshine possibly be better than the views on screen★
Readers of all ages will laugh along as their new best spuddy learns that balancing screen time and playtime is the root to true happiness.
Check out Jory John and Pete Oswald’s other funny, bestselling books for kids 4-8 and anyone who wants a laugh:
The Bad Seed
The Good Egg
The Good Egg Presents: The Great Eggscape!
That’s What Dinosaurs Do
