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Browse audiobooks narrated by Ayesha Antoine, listen to samples and when you're ready head over to Audiobooks.com where you can get 3 FREE audiobooks on us
Fight For The Remote. Episode Five: The Big Night Out Debacle "The dangling testicles of fate have tea-bagged me yet again." Alice and Keren are coming to the end of the three-hour getting ready ritual, in preparation for a rare big night out with old mates. Jon is trying his best to get out of it with the help of the not-so-bright Grub. As the countdown begins, the wine is drunk, the hair sprayed stiff and Jon made to change his shirt, but who will make it out of the house in time? Written by Mark Adams and Julia Dawn. Directed by Dexter O'Neill. THE CAST; ALICE Ayesha Antoine; JON Andrew Hayden-Smith; KEREN Helen Oakleigh; GRUB Daniel King; HAPPY AZIZ Neil D'Souza; COUSIN RHAMA Sean Connolly. Recorded at Orpheus Studios. Theme Tune by Manike Music. Additional Music by James Dunlop. Post Production by Robbie Dunlop. A Fantom Films Production 2011. Warning some scenes contain strong language and themes of a sexual nature.Show more
Fight For The Remote. Episode Six: The Saga Revelations "I've never known a children's book with so many overt revelations to clitori." Alice gets her one client, Camp Raymond, a career-boosting gig reading his bestselling children's novel on tape, leaving Jon at home to clean the house (with a little help from his sci-fi fan friends). While Jon is embroiled in an all day Star Wars marathon, Alice battles with Camp Raymond's expressive eccentricities to distract her from wondering where her life is going. Written by Mark Adams. Directed by Helen Oakleigh. THE CAST; ALICE Ayesha Antoine; JON Andrew Hayden-Smith; KEREN Helen Oakleigh; GRUB Daniel King; MARRIED DAVE Nathaniel King; DEREK Cliff Chapman; HAPPY AZIZ Neil D'Souza with Keith Flood as CAMP RAYMOND. Recorded at Orpheus Studios. Theme Tune by Manike Music. Additional Music by James Dunlop. Post Production by Robbie Dunlop. A Fantom Films Production 2011. Warning some scenes contain strong language and themes of a sexual nature.Show more
Fight For The Remote. Episode Seven: The Wake-Up Call "God, I need to be bereaved. I could do with losing a few pounds". Jon, Keren and Grub accompany Alice to the funeral of a uni friend called Boris. Jon wants to know how good a friend the deceased was; Alice wants to know how he died. Will their respective quests for knowledge end in tears or laughter? Written by Mark Adams. Directed by Dexter O'Neill. THE CAST; ALICE Ayesha Antoine; JON Andrew Hayden-Smith; KEREN Helen Oakleigh; GRUB Daniel King; VARIOUS VOICES Sean Connolly & Cliff Chapman with HAPPY AZIZ Neil D'Souza. Recorded at Orpheus Studios. Theme Tune by Manike Music. Additional Music by James Dunlop. Post Production by Robbie Dunlop. A Fantom Films Production 2011. Warning some scenes contain strong language and themes of a sexual nature.Show more
A new five-part box-set featuring the adventures of archaeologist Bernice Summerfield. When Bernice Summerfield was invited to participate in a cult archaeology broadcast on the mysterious world of Saravas, she could never have imagined the secrets she might unearth there... or the terrible Truth that would stalk her back to Legion. With friends and family by her side, Bernice quickly finds herself flung into the face of danger: either combatting deranged despots at terraformed garden parties, appeasing gunslingers in the White Rabbit bar, or simply attempting to survive on a barren desert planet, all alone... The odds are stacked against her, and this is undoubtedly the end for Bernice Summerfield... but she's determined to go out fighting! 1. BIG DIG Written by Hamish Steele Bernice has been invited to appear on a very special live edition of the archaeology series Big Dig: a programme she grew up with as a girl... which now makes her feel very old. Not as old, however, as the mysterious stone robot she unwittingly uncovers during an excavation on the planet Saravas. With no other trace of civilisation, this could be the only clue to the truth of the planet's inhabitants. But when Ruth and Jack start acting strangely, Bernice realises there was a reason things were hidden... and secrets aren't the only things to be buried. Welcome to the biggest Big Dig ever! 2. THE REVENANT'S CARNIVAL Written by Martin Day Bernice Summerfield has never been to Moros Prime before - and it's unlikely she'll be rushing back. Moros is a world of diplomacy and warfare, ruled over by a variety of creeps, dandies and outright weirdoes, where cybernetic implants are the latest fashion accessory and the native humans are ethically harvested for their organs. Peter Summerfield, however, has a job to do: heading the security team at the country estate of Willem van der Heever, the effective ruler of Moros Prime. Because Van der Heever is throwing a masquerade ball - which means fancy dress, fluorescent peacocks and an almost certain attempt on his life. Van der Heever is not without his enemies... But as Bernice and Peter uncover more about his past, whose side will they end up taking? 3. THE BRIMSTONE KID Written by David Llewellyn "Welcome to the White Rabbit. What'll it be?" "You can start by locking and bolting the doors. Then everyone in here can keep real calm..." Bernice and Irving were expecting another quiet night at the White Rabbit saloon - their only customers a veteran prospector named Toothless Bob and timid schoolteacher Miss Hannigan. But the evening takes a sinister turn with the arrival of the Brimstone Kid, a wanted outlaw, and the terrifying bounty hunter Cazador hot on his trail... Soon, Bernice and Irving find themselves caught up in an adventure involving giant, flightless crows, buried treasure and the galaxy's most ruthless detective agency. 4. THE WINNING SIDE Written by James Goss Bernice is lost in the ruins of an alien world. Long ago, something arrived there. Something arrived and found an idyllic civilisation: a city of wonders full of artists and scientists and poets... Something came to this world and destroyed it. Wandering the ruins, Bernice tries to solve the mystery. What came to this planet? What wiped out its people? Was it a plague? An alien invasion? Bernice Summerfield explores all that remains of paradise. And she discovers the name of the creature that came and wiped it out: 'Bernice Summerfield' 5. IN LIVING MEMORY Written by Scott Handcock and Gary Russell Bernice Summerfield is alone. Having been captured - albeit technically rescued - by an old enemy, she finally learns the truth her friends and their disappearances... and realises that she is a cog in a far greater machine. Whatever happens, this is now the end for Bernice Summerfield... and she's determined to go down fighting. But how long can she resist when the odds are stacked against her? And is there really such a thing as a happy ending...? Written By: Hamish Steele, Martin Day, David Llewellyn, James Goss, Scott Handcock & Gary Russell Directed By: Gary Russell and Scott HandcockShow more
As the Advent season approaches, Bernice finds herself faced with the prospect of an old-fashioned family holiday, surrounded by her loved ones on a world they now call home... a time to forge new memories, together... and for a bitter enemy to claim what is rightfully hers. Life is never straightforward, however. The most haunted planet in the galaxy is requesting an archaeologist, and something very peculiar is happening at the last manned shipyard in the cosmos. But ghostly planets and waterlogged zombies are the least of Bernice's worries. Because her friends have been hiding secrets - about who they are and where they've come from... and as Bernice will soon discover, the truth will out. 1. A HANDFUL OF DUST Written by Xanna Eve Chown "S.O.S. Emergency. Please send... an archaeologist?" On a routine postal mission for a deranged millionaire, Bernice, Ruth and Jack intercept a distress signal from the most haunted planet in the galaxy: Nemeqit. Taking their newly-christened shuttle - The Irverfield - down to investigate, the trio soon find themselves confronted with a pair of childlike extra-terrestrials; Vonna Byzantium, presenter of Paranormal Planets and part-time diva... and an awful lot of dust. But something else is going on beneath the surface of Nemeqit, something none of them ever imagined. And this time, Bernice really can't save everyone... 2. HMS SURPRISE Written by Alexander Vlahos Mortis Dock: the last manned shipyard in the cosmos. Population: 6002. And now, not a soul in sight... at least, until Bernice, Peter and Jack are drawn off-course. Where have all the workers disappeared to? Why is Jack behaving oddly? And what is the secret of the HMS Surprise? Only a stranger in a lighthouse holds the key... but can he be trusted? 3. THE CURSE OF FENMAN Written by Gary Russell It's Advent Day on Legion: a time that traditionally calls for celebration; a day spent with the people you love, when all the family come together, setting aside their differences... or when they bring old scores to settle. An old foe has been biding her time, manipulating the people and events around Bernice Summerfield for as long as any of them can remember... She knows so many secrets - the secrets they've all been hiding - but not everybody wants to learn the truth. Today is the day Avril Fenman comes to Legion. She comes to claim her son... and to set Bernice on her final, lonely battle. But will her friends stand by her, one last time? Written By: Xanna Eve Chown, Alexander Vlahos, Gary Russell Directed By: Gary Russell and Scott HandcockShow more
1. VESUVIUS FALLING Written by Tony Lee Directed by Gary Russell Featuring Andrew Hayden-Smith, Kai Owen and Jennie Stoller Things aren't going great for Bernice Summerfield. Her one time comrade-cum-adversary, Irving Braxiatel, isn't the man she knew; her long-lost teenage son, Peter, isn't exactly pleased to see her; and she's woken up with one hell of a hangover... But when an ancient and dormant spacecraft threatens the safety of Legion City, Bernice and Peter have to put their differences aside in order to investigate an inexplicable mystery involving time-travelling scientists, corporate espionage and simple, cold-blooded murder... Can Benny discover the true killer before a warp core breach destroys them all? Can a five thousand-year-old body solve a murder yet to happen? And will the Vesuvius fall to the planet below...? 2. SHADES OF GRAY Written and Directed by Scott Handcock Featuring Richard Franklin and Alexander Vlahos 'They used to say this house attracts nothing but evil... What are we all doing here, I wonder?' Many years ago, in an old and dilapidated house, a priceless and powerful artefact was hidden: an item that has long since been forgotten... at least until Bernice, Ruth and Jack were sent to collect it. In the depths of Triptic House, Bernice and her friends find themselves at the mercy of an ancient and ruthless entity, one that has been yearning for escape, biding its time and going mad... It has lived so very long now, with so many stories to share - tales of haunted mental institutions; tormented tapestries; living nightmares - and through each of them now, its stories shall be told. They shall be told, lived, suffered, shared... and ultimately, concluded. 3. EVERYBODY LOVES IRVING Written by Miles Richardson Directed by Gary Russell Featuring Cameron Blakely, Matt Butcher and Andrew Macklin Bernice and Braxiatel have never quite seen eye-to-eye... but now he wants to make amends. He's taking her on a leisure drive across Legion's deadly surface to an Ikerian settlement not far from Legion City. Their mission: shopping. The Ikerians are renowned traders, dealing in everything from the finest art to cut-price battlecruisers. They're willing to do a good deal too. After all, they know Irving Braxiatel of old... and better than this Brax knows himself. Everywhere they go and everyone they deal with, Braxiatel's reputation precedes him. He has good friends and even better enemies... but one thing's for certain. Everybody loves Irving. Written By: Tony Lee, Scott Handcock, Miles Richardson Directed By: Gary Russell and Scott HandcockShow more
Brand Management, by Christopher Cooper \"You\'re listening to Live Audio Stream G371, the only official source of government approved easy listening entertainment, as sponsored by the Dominicci Corporation. It\'s the thirteenth day of the thirteenth month, and that means just one thing, people - it\'s time to PARTAYYY...!\" Bernice Summerfield needs a job. Professor Harry Burtenshaw thinks she\'s just the ticket. But with the people of Lyndyaz celebrating their most important festival, and the ruling Dominicci Corporation maintaining control with draconian glee, has Bernice turned up in the wrong place at the wrong time? Bad Habits, by Simon Barnard & Paul Morris Meet Sister Bernice - newest initiate into the order of Saint Celestion. Such is her devotion to the faith that she has undertaken a pilgrimage to the planet Agora, birthplace of the blessed Saint himself. The pilgrims aren\'t alone, however. Also on the planet is a team of archaeologists searching for the lost tomb of Celestion - a subject in which Sister Bernice seems curiously interested... In her quest to unearth an ancient relic that will point the way to Legion, Bernice will face some fearsome challenges: the dreaded Blood Beast of Thaloon, the randiest Bishop in the galaxy, and an ancient cult with some very bad habits indeed... Paradise Frost, by David Llewellyn Kaff Zarnak was once the holiday destination of choice for the rich and famous. At least, it was until the planet spun off its axis, and a deadly virus wiped out its population. Now it\'s absolutely the last place anyone wants to visit: a barren, ice-encrusted wasteland, sitting amongst the stars. So when Bernice and her loud-mouthed cab driver Ray are drawn off course, it\'s fair to say that they\'ve both had better days. Taking refuge inside the Xanadu Tower resort, the trio encounter Kaff Zarnak\'s only survivors... and maybe the only remaining clue to what took place there. But food supplies are low, Sandroaches are attacking on every side, and the only hope of their survival seems to be locked at the top of the Tower. Perhaps there\'s a reason what happens on Kaff Zarnak stays on Kaff Zarnak...Show more
The Kraken's Lament, by Mark Wright "Gather round, wretched peoples of Atlantis, for Acanthus the Talesmith has a story to tell! A story of adventure, of courage, of a Winged Goddess searching for truth and sanctuary in a friendless city... On the streets of this fair city, the Goddess searches for a path to the child of two worlds, but finds instead only questions and danger. Be astonished as she defies the rage of the dreaded Kraken! Wonder as she sups with the tragic Queen in her carved stone palace, high above the city! Marvel at her bravery as she gazes deep into the Further Beyond! Come one, come all and listen! Listen to Acanthus the Talesmith and let him amaze you with his story... the story of Professor Bernice Summerfield and the Kraken's Lament!" The Temple of Questions, by Jacqueline Rayner Life can be dangerous when a god's got it in for you. Bernice and her Historian allies, Ruth and Leonidas, are trying to unearth the truth behind the mysterious world they're living in. Poseidon, god of the seas, is apparently offering them answers - but only if they play his games. And he's not playing fair... Bernice's new family is in danger of being ripped apart by forces that are beyond their understanding. To keep her friends, she might have to lose the games... and her life with them. Private Enemy No 1, by Tony Lee The Great Leader is dead... Long live the Great Leader! Atlantis is in disarray. The Historians are hiding Bernice, Leonidas and Ruth within their safe house - but the world is changing more than they could have ever imagined. People are being erased from existence, their memories wiped clean and replaced with those of others. Entire buildings are altering, times are changing... and the Hierophants are on the move. Can Bernice and her friends save Atlantis from the end of existence? Or will they too be assimilated? Judgement Day, by Scott Handcock Atlantis has fallen. The Epoch are in command. And terrible decisions lie in wait for Bernice Summerfield. Bernice and her comrades will be put to the ultimate test - facing Neanderthals on prehistoric Earth; alien creatures on the streets of Victorian London; and the Epoch in the far, far future - but which world will they choose to make their home? Their journeys have been long and arduous. But soon, they will all end. Because Bernice Summerfield dies today... and, when she does, reality will fall apart around her.Show more
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