Ollie and Celia think they know what the life of an elf is supposed to be like: Make toys. Help Santa. Make more toys. Help Santa. Try out a new ice-cream flavor.
Help Santa. But then Santa rocks the North Pole with a surprise announcement! He's decided this is going to be his last year in the Big Red Suit, and, instead of letting his oldest son-the unfortunately named Klaus Claus-take over, he's opening up the job to any Claus or elf who wants to apply.
The Santa Trials have begun! Ollie and Celia enter the contest, having no idea whatsoever that they'll soon have to squeeze through impossible chimneys, race runaway sleighs, sweet-talk a squad of rowdy reindeer, and consume cruel amounts of cookies and milk. It's both an adventure and a survival test, far beyond what any Claus or elf has been asked to do before. But whoever rises to the top will get a reward even bigger than Christmas...
A hilarious rollercoaster ride of pure entertainment for 9+ readers everywhere, Birthday Boy is the new Baddiel Blockbuster: featuring David's inimitable and award-winning combination of wish-fulfilment, heart and hilarity, all brought to life by regular collaborator Jim Field's witty, stylish illustrations.
What if it was every day?
This is the story of Sam Green, who really, really, really loves birthdays. He loves the special breakfasts in bed. The presents. The themed parties. Blowing out the candles on his cake. Everything.
He is so excited about his 11th birthday, in fact, that he wishes it was his birthday every day.
So, at first, it's quite exciting when his birthday happens again the next morning. And again. And again. And again...
But it's not long before things start to go wrong. Soon, disaster strikes, threatening something Sam loves even more than birthdays.
Sometimes you have to be careful what you wish for...
Meet Toto: she's no ordinary cat, and she can't wait to have an adventure with you! Join Toto for a funny animal escapade written by one of the UK's best-loved broadcasters. For fans of The Aristocats, The Secret Life of Pets, 101 Dalmatians and Atticus Claw Breaks the Law.
Toto the cat and her brother Silver live footloose and fancy-free in a townhouse in London. Toto is almost totally blind, and learned to trust her senses from a ninja cat-master who taught her back in Italy where they were born. By day, Toto and Silver seem to be ordinary cats, but by night, they love to have adventures!
One evening, news reaches Toto that a king cobra has escaped from London Zoo! Together with help from a very posh rat and two hungry tigers, Toto and Silver must investigate. Can they find the giant snake, before it's too late?
Dermot says: 'The idea for Toto first came to me when my wife and I rescued two stray cats from an olive grove in Italy. One of them, Toto, has been blind from birth, but we quickly realised she had ninja-like reactions. Like a lot of cat owners (or cat servants), we like to imagine our pets having secret lives when we're out or asleep. So before I knew it I was writing about Toto and her brother Silver's nocturnal adventures around London. I really hope that children who pick it up enjoy reading the adventures of our little Italian underdog (cat).'
(P) 2017 Hodder Children's Books
Fans of Stick Dog and My Big Fat Zombie Goldfish will love Suzanne Selfors's hilarious new series about the growing pains of blended families and the secret rivalry of pets.
When a bouncy, barky dog and an evil genius guinea pig move into the same house, the laughs are nonstop! Wedgie is so excited, he can't stop barking. He LOVES having new siblings and friends to protect. He LOVES guinea pigs like Gizmo! He also LOVES treats!
But Gizmo does not want to share his loyal human servant with a rump-sniffing beast! He does not want to live in a pink Barbie Playhouse. Or to be kissed and hugged by the girl human. Gizmo is an evil genius. He wants to take over the world and make all humans feel his wrath. But first he must destroy his archenemy, Wedgie, once and for all!
Random House presents the audiobook edition of Pottymouth and Stoopid by James Patterson, read by Scott Connolly.
David and his best friend Michael were tagged with awful nicknames way back in preschool when everyone did silly things. Fast-forward to seventh grade: 'Pottymouth' and 'Stoopid' are still stuck with the names - and everyone in school, including the teachers and their principal, believe the labels are true.
So how do they go about changing everyone's minds? By turning their misery into megastardom on TV, of course! And this important story delivers more than just laughs - it shows that the worst bullying doesn't have to be physical, and that things will get better.
The Blythes are a big, warm, rambunctious family who live on a small farm and sometimes foster children. Now Prez has come to live with them. But, though he seems cheerful and helpful, he never says a word.
Then one day Prez answers the door to someone claiming to be his relative. This small, loud stranger carries a backpack, walks with a swagger and goes by the name of Sputnik.
As Prez dithers on the doorstep, Sputnik strolls right past him and introduces himself to everyone in the household. Prez is amazed at the response. The family pat Sputnik on the head, call him a good boy and drop food into his mouth. It seems they all think Sputnik is a dog. It's only Prez who thinks otherwise.
But Prez soon finds himself having to defend the family from the chaos and danger unleashed by Sputnik, as household items come to life - like a TV remote that fast-forwards people: 'Anyone can do it, it's just that people don't read the instructions properly'; and a toy lightsaber that entertains guests at a children's party, until one of them is nearly decapitated by it - and Prez is going to have to use his voice to explain himself.
It turns out that Sputnik is writing a guidebook to Earth called Ten Things Worth Doing on Earth, and he takes Prez on a journey to discover just those ten things. Each adventure seems to take Prez nearer to the heart of the family he is being fostered by. But they also take him closer to the day that he is due to leave them forever . . .
To Joseph Friedman, middle school might as well be the Running of the Bulls. He's friendless and puny, with ADD to boot, so he spends most of his time avoiding class bully Charlie Kastner and hiding out in the Resource Room, a safe place for misfit kids like him. But then, on the first day of seventh grade, two important things happen. First, his Resource Room teacher Mrs. T encourages (i.e., practically forces) him to join the school track team, and second, he meets Heather, a tough, athletic new girl who isn't going to be pushed around by Charlie Kastner-or anybody else. At first, track is as much of a disaster as everything else in Joseph's life. But slowly Joseph hits his stride, and instead of running from the bulls . . . he's just running.
A controversial diary, with two girls telling two different stories.
Sarah and Shelley seem to be two opposites. One of them likes fast, powerful stuff, while the other is more sensitive and detailed. They get along...most times; and they decided to keep the same journal together but not to read each others' entries. In this funny compilation of journal entries from two very different personalities, you'll read about their opposing emotions and laugh your head off when you learn of their contradicting views.
Random House presents the unabridged, downloadable audio edition of Middle School: Escape to Australia by James Patterson, read by Michael Crouch.
Rafe Khatchadorian is getting the Hollywood treatment in a film version of Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life starring Griffin Gluck, Lauren Graham, Rob Riggle and Thomas Barbusca.
Rafe isn't exactly considered a winner in Hills Village Middle School to say the least, but everything's about to change: he's won a school-wide art competition, and the fabulous prize is getting to jet-set off to Australia for a whirlwind adventure!
But Rafe soon finds that living in the Land Down Under is harder than he could've ever imagined; his host-siblings are anything but welcoming, the burning temperatures are torturous, and poisonous critters are ready to sting or eat him at every step. So with the help of some new misfit friends, Rafe sets out to show everyone what he does best: create utter mayhem!
Previously published as Middle School: Rafe's Aussie Adventure
Timmy is in Key West, Florida, ostensibly for the honeymoon of his mother and Doorman Dave... if they even got married, which Timmy doubts. Unfortunately for Timmy, crime doesn't take a vacation. And because Total has fled to Cuba seeking political asylum, Timmy must rely on a new partner for help: Doorman Dave's nephew, Emilio. And as if things couldn't get more hectic, Timmy's pants have been stolen by a six-toed cat.
"My name is Adam Butters. I live on planet Earth, I like eating spaghetti hoops and I've decided I'm going to be a SUPERHERO. Everyone loves superheroes, they solve problems and make people happy, and that's good because my mum needs cheering up. Also, I've found out that before I was adopted my real mum called me ACE. So now I've just got to prove to the world that's what I am. One mission at a time..."
Something is brewing at Bonefish Street Elementary School . . .
Get ready for one perfecto school pet show!
Dean Bob and Lou Tweet can't wait to perform in the first-ever Bonefish Street Elementary School Pet Show. They've practiced their performances over and over again, and together with their pets, they're ready to shine!
But it looks like their families, the Tweets, who are neat, and the Bobs, who are slobs, aren't going to make getting to the show easy. What will happen when the Tweets and Bobs have a showdown before the show? And what if all that fighting makes Dean Bob just a little nervous for his performance? Find out in another wacky family saga full of pets, school antics, and two very silly families!
This second book in the Bobs and Tweets series is filled with full-color illustrations and high-interest rhymes that are just right for reluctant readers. It's Dr. Seuss meets Captain Underpants wrapped into one zany school adventure! So go ahead, read and laugh with the memorable Bobs and Tweets!
