The exceptionordinary, effervescent Clarice Bean is back with her trademark heart and humour in this beautifully illustrated story by former Children’s Laureate Lauren Child – a delightful summer read for the entire family!
Nothing ever happens except for sometimes. And only on rare-ish occasions, which is hardly ever. There are times when even I can’t turn the nothing into more than it is. But there was one day in the holidays that began as a nothing day and then everything happened. Absolutely nearly everything.
The unforgettable Clarice Bean finds herself escaping the danger of boredom when she meets an actual real-life DOG who will NOT scram!
So put on your pith helmet and prepare to explore a wilderness of puns and rhymes where birds, beasts, vegetables, and flowers have been mysteriously scrambled together to create creatures you've never seen before -- and are unlikely to meet again! Your guides -- Jack Prelutsky, poet laureate of the elementary school set, and two-time Caldecott Honor artist Peter Sis -- invite you to join them on an adventure you will never forget!
The thirteenth thrilling novel in the internationally bestselling Skulduggery Pleasant series, SEASONS OF WAR will test the Skeleton Detective and Valkyrie like never before…
War is coming.
To avert catastrophe, Skulduggery and Valkyrie are sent on a secret mission that takes them away from everything they know, to a forsaken land of magic and grim, unrelenting terror. It is here that Valkyrie will have to fight the hardest — not only against the enemies who want her dead, but also against her own self-destructive impulses. It's only by crawling through darkness that she'll be able to once again stand in the light…
Who messed with my ducks?
Splat the Cat notices that something isn't quite right in his house. First his father's duck decoys start to go missing. Then they are mysteriously returned but, strangely enough, without their beaks! Who could possibly be causing all of this trouble? To solve the mystery, Splat musters up his courage and rises to the challenge as Secret Agent Splat.
This wacky cat-and-mouse story from bestselling author and illustrator Rob Scotton will have readers laughing from beginning to end.
Shhhh! Don't tell anyone about this mouth-watering audiobook from the New York Times bestselling creators of Dragons Love Tacos and Robo-Sauce!
How does Racoon love pizza? Oh, let him count the ways. He loves the gooey cheesy-ness, salty pepperoni-ness, sweet sweet tomato-ness, and of course the crispity crunchity crust. But someone is always chasing poor Raccoon away from his favorite food with a broom! What's a hungry raccoon to do? Plan an elaborate secret pizza party, of course!
But shhh! It's a secret! In fact, you should probably just forget I told you. Nope, no secret pizza party happening here.You didn't already tell all your friends, did you? Uh oh . . .
Fans of Jon Klassen and Mo Willems's humor will gobble up this quirky ode to the lengths we will go to for our heart's desire.
Praise for Dragons Love Tacos:
New York Times bestseller
A New York Times Notable Children's Book of 2012
'Rubin and Salmieri are two of the weirdest, funniest guys working in kids' lit today. The team lets its geek flag fly in an obsessive how-to guide for would-be dragon taco party hosts. Why a taco party? As Rubin explains, 'The only things dragons love more than parties or tacos, is taco parties.' If further proof is required, Salmieri-whose poker-faced watercolor, gouache, and color pencil drawings set a benchmark for oddball observational humor-shows one odd, scaly creature with a carryout bag from 'Taco Cave' and another beaming with anticipation as it eagerly circles the date for a taco party on its taco-themed calendar. But beware: even if all the tips and rules are followed to the letter (on quantity:'The best way to judge is to get a boat and fill the boat with tacos'), all will be for naught if spicy salsa makes its way into the taco filling. In fact, the dragons will bring a whole new meaning to 'housewarming.' Off-kilter fun for those who like their picture books (and salsa) zesty and fresh.'-Publishers Weekly, starred review
'The perfect book for kids who love dragons and mild tacos.' -Kirkus Reviews
'Regardless of, or perhaps because of, the absurdity of the story, this tale should be a big hit with anyone with an affinity for dragons.' -School Library Journal
The hilarious story of one bag of cash, two best friends and a whole lot of trouble. 10-year-old Tess is a born entrepreneur. She just needs to come up with the perfect money-making scheme. Then she finds a million quid buried in her back garden. Never mind where the money came from-Tess and her best friend Toby know exactly how to spend it. But, as it turns out, spending a million isn't that easy when you're a kid. Cue bouncy castles, sweets, scheming and a whole lot of trouble ... Features bonus tips on how to become a schoolyard millionaire inside!
The seventh son of the seventh son, aptly named Septimus Heap, is stolen the night he is born by a midwife who pronounces him dead. That same night, the baby's father, Silas Heap, comes across a bundle in the snow containing a new born girl with violet eyes. The Heaps take this helpless newborn into their home, name her Jenna, and raise her as their own. But who is this mysterious baby girl, and what really happened to their beloved son Septimus?
The first book in this enthralling new series by Angie Sage leads readers on a fantastic journey filled with quirky characters and magykal charms, potions, and spells. Magyk is an original story of lost and rediscovered identities, rich with humor and heart.
In this fifth book in the Magykal series, Septimus ends up on a captivatingly beautiful island, one of seven set in a sparkling sea. He's stranded there with his badly injured dragon, Spit Fyre, along with Jenna and Beetle. There are some strange things about the island, including a Magykal girl named Syrah, a cat-shaped lighthouse that has lost its Light, and an eerie presence that sings to Septimus'can he escape the persistent call?
Trouble is also brewing for Lucy and Wolf Boy, who have become entangled with some nefarious sailors at sea, and for Milo Banda, Jenna's father, who is harboring a mysterious treasure chest in his ship's hold.
Charismatic storyteller Angie Sage continues Septimus Heap's Magykal journey with more laugh-out-loud adventures, more enchanting charms and spells, and an ever-deepening understanding of the interior life of a young hero.
There's trouble at the Castle, and it's all because Merrin Meredith has returned with Darke plans for Septimus. More trouble awaits Septimus and Jenna in the form of Tertius Fume, the ghost of the very first Chief Hermetic Scribe, who is determined to send Septimus on a deadly Queste. But Septimus and Jenna have other plans—they are headed for the mysterious House of Foryx, a place where all Time meets and the place where they fervently hope they will be able to find Nicko and Snorri, who were trapped back in time in physik. But how will Septimus escape the Queste?
Queste, like all the books in the Septimus Heap series, is filled with nonstop action, humor, and fantastical adventure as Septimus continues his journey of Magykal self-discovery.
When Silas Heap unSeals a forgotten room in the Palace, he releases the ghost of a Queen who lived five hundred years earlier. Queen Etheldredda is as awful in death as she was in life, and she's still up to no good. Her diabolical plan to give herself everlasting life requires Jenna's compliance, Septimus's disappearance, and the talents of her son, Marcellus Pye, a famous Alchemist and Physician. And if Queen Etheldredda's plot involves Jenna and Septimus, then it will surely involve Nicko, Alther Mella, Marcia Overstrand, Beetle, Stanley, Sarah, Silas, Spit Fyre, Aunt Zelda, and all of the other wacky, wonderful characters that made magyk and flyte so memorable.
With heart-stopping action and a dash of humor, Angie Sage continues the fantastical journey of Septimus Heap.
It's been a year since septimus heap discovered his real family and true calling to be a wizard. As Apprentice to Extra Ordinary Wizard Marcia Overstrand, he is learning the fine arts of Conjurations, Charms, and other Magyk, while Jenna is adapting to life as the Princess and enjoying the freedom of the Castle.
But there is something sinister at work. Marcia is constantly trailed by a menacing Darke Shadow, and Septimus's brother Simon seems bent on a revenge no one understands. Why is the Darke Magyk still lingering?
Bringing fantasy to new heights, Angie Sage continues the journey of Septimus Heap with her trademark humor and all of the clever details readers have come to love.
DISCLAIMER: The long term effects of listening to this audio are unknown. Scientists have detected slightly higher rates of panic, fright and free-floating anxiety amongst listeners to this audio than that found in those listeners who engaged in more pleasant listening activities.
Dear Listener,
Like handshakes or housepets, many things are preferable when not slippery. Unfortunately, in this miserable volume, I am afraid that Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire run into more than their fair share of slipperiness during their harrowing journey up -- and down -- a range of strange and distressing mountains.
It would be best not to mention any of the unpleasant details of this story, particularly a secret message, a swarm of snow gnats, a scheming villain, a covered casserole dish, and a surprising survivor of a terrible fire.
Unfortunately, I have dedicated my life to researching and recording the sad tale of the Baudelaire Orphans. There is no reason for you to dedicate yourself to such things, and you might instead dedicate yourself to letting this slippery audio slip from your hands into a nearby trash receptacle, or deep pit.
With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket
