Lemony Snicket - Author

When Did You See Her Last?

The second in the highly anticipated new series by Lemony Snicket, the enigmatic author of the bestselling A Series of Unfortunate Events. The series reveals how a young Lemony Snicket, in a fading town, far from anyone he knew or trusted, began an apprenticeship in a secret organisation. This time he must find a missing girl.

Swarm of Bees

It can feel good to be angry. It can feel better to stop. Swarm of Bees! Swarm of Bees! You are SO angry! What will you do? Watch out! A mischievous boy has unleashed an angry swarm of bees! The result is a zany gallop through a charming town where readers will encounter evidence of some bad behaviour, some frenzied anger and thankfully, a hug and some spaghetti. From best-loved children's author Lemony Snicket and the supremely talented illustrator Rilla Alexander.

Read Something Else: Collected & Dubious Wit & Wisdom of Lemony Snicket

Looking for wit, wisdom, and inspiration all within the pages of one useful book? Read Something Else. Life is a turbulent journey, fraught with confusion, heartbreak, and inconvenience. This collection of wit and wisdom from New York Times bestselling author Lemony Snicket is unlikely to help. It includes a new introduction filled with curious aphorisms, a handful of never-before-seen-or-heard quotations, and fan favorites from works over the years. These dubious offerings, collected from Snicket's books, unpublished papers, and more, have been made pleasing to the eye by illustrations, select fan art, and design flourishes.

File Under: 13 Suspicious Incidents

Before the Baudelaires became orphans, before he encountered A Series of Unfortunate Events, even before the invention of Netflix, Lemony Snicket was a boy discovering the mysteries of the world. Match wits with Lemony Snicket to solve thirteen mini-mysteries.Paintings have been falling off of walls, a loud and loyal dog has gone missing, a specter has been seen walking the pier at midnight -- strange things are happening all over the town of Stain'd-By-The-Sea. Called upon to investigate thirteen suspicious incidents, young Lemony Snicket collects clues, questions witnesses, and cracks every case. Join the investigation and tackle the mysteries alongside Snicket, then turn to the back of the book to see the solution revealed.A delicious read that welcomes readers into Lemony Snicket's world of deep mystery, mysterious depth, deductive reasoning, and reasonable deductions.Lemony's other literary outings in, 'A Series of Unfortunate Events' have sold 60 million copies worldwide and been made into hit Netflix series.Have you read all four mysterious titles in the Wrong Questions series?'Who Could That Be at the This Hour?''When Did You See Her Last?''Shouldn't You Be in School?''Why is This Night Different from All Other Nights?'Author Lemony Snicket was born before you were and is likely to die before you as well. He was born in a small town where the inhabitants were suspicious and prone to riot. He grew up near the sea and currently lives beneath it. Until recently, he was living somewhere else. He is a broken man, wracked with misery and despair as a result of writing 'A Series of Unfortunate Events'. He spends his days wandering the countryside weeping and moaning and his evenings eating hastily-prepared meals.

The Bad Mood and the Stick

Lemony Snicket's simply told story offers a refreshing, thoughtful, and hilarious look at the ways in which a bad mood wreaks havoc as it moves from person to person, leaving an unexpected trail of surprise in its wake: opportunities for laughter, forgiveness and even love.

The Miserable Mill Netflix Tie-In Edition

Dear reader, There is nothing to be found in Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events but misery and despair. You still have time to choose another international best-selling series to read. But if you insist on discovering the unpleasant adventures of the Baudelaire orphans, then proceed with caution... Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent children. They are charming, and resourceful, and have pleasant facial features. Unfortunately, they are exceptionally unlucky. In The Miserable Mill the siblings encounter a giant pincher machine, a bad casserole, a man with a cloud of smoke where his head should be, a hypnotist, a terrible accident and coupons. In the tradition of great storytellers, from Dickens to Dahl, comes an exquisitely dark comedy that is both literary and irreverent, hilarious and deftly crafted. Despite their wretched contents, A Series of Unfortunate Events has sold 60 million copies worldwide and been made into a Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey. And in the future things are poised to get much worse, thanks to the forthcoming Netflix series directed by Barry Sonnenfeld. You have been warned. Are you unlucky enough to own all 13 adventures? The Bad Beginning The Reptile Room The Wide Window The Miserable Mill The Austere Academy The Ersatz Elevator The Vile Village The Hostile Hospital The Carnivorous Carnival The Slippery Slope The Grim Grotto The Penultimate Peril The End And what about All The Wrong Questions? In this four-book series a 13-year-old Lemony chronicles his dangerous and puzzling apprenticeship in a mysterious organisation that nobody knows anything about: `Who Could That Be at This Hour?' `When Did you Last See Her?' `Shouldn't You Be in School?' `Why is This Night Different from All Other Nights?' Lemony Snicket was born before you were and is likely to die before you as well. He was born in a small town where the inhabitants were suspicious and prone to riot. He grew up near the sea and currently lives beneath it. Until recently, he was living somewhere else. Brett Helquist was born in Ganado, Arizona, grew up in Orem, Utah, and now lives in New York City. He earned a bachelor's degree in fine arts from Brigham Young University and has been illustrating ever since. His art has appeared in many publications, including Cricket magazine and The New York Times.

The Reptile Room Netflix Tie-In Edition

Dear reader, There is nothing to be found in Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events but misery and despair. You still have time to choose another international best-selling series to read. But if you insist on discovering the unpleasant adventures of the Baudelaire orphans, then proceed with caution... Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent children. They are charming, and resourceful, and have pleasant facial features. Unfortunately, they are exceptionally unlucky. In The Reptile Room the siblings endure a car accident, a terrible smell, a deadly serpent, a long knife, a brass reading lamp, and the re-appearance of a person they'd hoped never to see again. In the tradition of great storytellers, from Dickens to Dahl, comes an exquisitely dark comedy that is both literary and irreverent, hilarious and deftly crafted. Despite their wretched contents, A Series of Unfortunate Events has sold 60 million copies worldwide and been made into a Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey. And in the future things are poised to get much worse, thanks to the forthcoming Netflix series starring Neil Patrick Harris. You have been warned. Are you unlucky enough to own all 13 adventures? The Bad Beginning The Reptile Room The Wide Window The Miserable Mill The Austere Academy The Ersatz Elevator The Vile Village The Hostile Hospital The Carnivorous Carnival The Slippery Slope The Grim Grotto The Penultimate Peril The End And what about All The Wrong Questions? In this four-book series a 13-year-old Lemony chronicles his dangerous and puzzling apprenticeship in a mysterious organisation that nobody knows anything about: `Who Could That Be at This Hour?' `When Did you Last See Her?' `Shouldn't You Be in School?' `Why is This Night Different from All Other Nights?' Lemony Snicket was born before you were and is likely to die before you as well. He was born in a small town where the inhabitants were suspicious and prone to riot. He grew up near the sea and currently lives beneath it. Until recently, he was living somewhere else. Brett Helquist was born in Ganado, Arizona, grew up in Orem, Utah, and now lives in New York City. He earned a bachelor's degree in fine arts from Brigham Young University and has been illustrating ever since. His art has appeared in many publications, including Cricket magazine and The New York Times.

The Wide Window Netflix Tie-In Edition

Dear reader, There is nothing to be found in these special tie-in editions of Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events but misery and despair. You still have time to pick another bestselling, Emmy-nominated, Netflix-adapted series to read. But if you cannot be dissuaded, read on . . . Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent children. They are charming, and resourceful, and have pleasant facial features. Unfortunately, they are exceptionally unlucky. In The Wide Window the siblings encounter a hurricane, a signalling device, hungry leaches, cold cucumber soup, a horrible villain and a doll named Pretty Penny. In the tradition of great storytellers, from Dickens to Dahl, comes an exquisitely dark comedy that is both literary and irreverent, hilarious and deftly crafted. Despite their wretched contents, A Series of Unfortunate Events has sold 60 million copies worldwide and been made into a Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey. And in the future things are poised to get much worse, thanks to the forthcoming Netflix series starring Neil Patrick Harris. You have been warned. Are you unlucky enough to own all 13 adventures? The Bad Beginning The Reptile Room The Wide Window The Miserable Mill The Austere Academy The Ersatz Elevator The Vile Village The Hostile Hospital The Carnivorous Carnival The Slippery Slope The Grim Grotto The Penultimate Peril The End And what about All The Wrong Questions? In this four-book series a 13-year-old Lemony chronicles his dangerous and puzzling apprenticeship in a mysterious organisation that nobody knows anything about: `Who Could That Be at This Hour?' `When Did you Last See Her?' `Shouldn't You Be in School?' `Why is This Night Different from All Other Nights?' Lemony Snicket was born before you were and is likely to die before you as well. He was born in a small town where the inhabitants were suspicious and prone to riot. He grew up near the sea and currently lives beneath it. Until recently, he was living somewhere else. Brett Helquist was born in Ganado, Arizona, grew up in Orem, Utah, and now lives in New York City. He earned a bachelor's degree in fine arts from Brigham Young University and has been illustrating ever since. His art has appeared in many publications, including Cricket magazine and The New York Times.

The Bad Beginning

Dear reader, There is nothing to be found in these special tie-in editions of Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events but misery and despair. You still have time to pick another bestselling, Emmy-nominated, Netflix-adapted series to read. But if you cannot be dissuaded, read on . . . Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent children. They are charming, and resourceful, and have pleasant facial features. Unfortunately, they are exceptionally unlucky. In The Bad Beginning, the siblings encounter a greedy and repulsive villain, itchy clothing, a disastrous fire, a plot to steal their fortune and cold porridge for breakfast. In the tradition of great storytellers, from Dickens to Dahl, comes an exquisitely dark comedy that is both literary and irreverent, hilarious and deftly crafted. Despite their wretched contents, `A Series of Unfortunate Events' has sold 60 million copies worldwide and been made into a Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey. And in the future things are poised to get much worse, thanks to the forthcoming Netflix series starring Neil Patrick Harris. You have been warned. Are you unlucky enough to own all 13 adventures? The Bad Beginning The Reptile Room The Wide Window The Miserable Mill The Austere Academy The Ersatz Elevator The Vile Village The Hostile Hospital The Carnivorous Carnival The Slippery Slope The Grim Grotto The Penultimate Peril The End And what about All the Wrong Questions? In this four-book series a 13-year-old Lemony chronicles his dangerous and puzzling apprenticeship in a mysterious organisation that nobody knows anything about: `Who Could That Be at This Hour?' `When Did you Last See Her?' `Shouldn't You Be in School?' `Why is This Night Different from All Other Nights?' Lemony Snicket was born before you were and is likely to die before you as well. He was born in a small town where the inhabitants were suspicious and prone to riot. He grew up near the sea and currently lives beneath it. Until recently, he was living somewhere else. Brett Helquist was born in Ganado, Arizona, grew up in Orem, Utah, and now lives in New York City. He earned a bachelor's degree in fine arts from Brigham Young University and has been illustrating ever since. His art has appeared in many publications, including Cricket magazine and The New York Times.

All the Wrong Questions: Question 1

Before the Baudelaires became orphans, before he encountered A Series of Unfortunate Events, even before the invention of Netflix, Lemony Snicket was a boy discovering the mysteries of the world. Read the account of it all, in the debut volume of The New York Times bestselling series, available now with an intriguing new title and look.In the first of four volumes, Lemony Snicket recounts the time he spent as a young man in a fading town under the care of a dubious chaperone. Navigating the mysteries of childhood can be difficult, and for Lemony Snicket, the tangled plots that surround him include a missing father, a flooding basement, suspiciously young taxi drivers, a stolen statue, a peculiar librarian, and more information than is necessary about a secret organization.Penned in signature style, All the Wrong Questions: Question 1 (originally published as "e;Who Could That Be at This Hour?"e;) invites you to untangle the mysteries that surround young Lemony Snicket.

The Bad Mood and the Stick

Lemony Snicket's simply told story offers a refreshing, thoughtful, and hilarious look at the ways in which a bad mood wreaks havoc as it moves from person to person, leaving an unexpected trail of surprise in its wake: opportunities for laughter, forgiveness and even love. Meet the most endearing and unpredictable bad mood yet - an emoji-like cloud character - who allows young readers to look their bad mood in the eye. From the author of the acclaimed, bestselling picture book The Dark comes another wise observation about the emotional forces that impact our lives.

Why Is This Night Different from All Other Nights?

Before he wrote 'A Series of Unfortunate Events', before the Baudelaires became orphans, even before the invention of Netflix, Lemony Snicket asked all the wrong questions. Four to be exact.This is the account of the fourth question. There was a town, and there was a train, and there was a murder. Apprentice investigator Lemony Snicket was on the train, and he thought that if he solved the murder he could save the town. In the tradition of great storytellers, from Dickens to Dahl, comes an exquisitely dark comedy that is both literary and irreverent. You'll laugh only if you find humour in gothic and mysterious things involving detectives and crime solving. Lemony's other literary outings in `A Series of Unfortunate Events' have sold 60 million copies worldwide and been made into a Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey and a Netflix series starring Neil Patrick Harris. These regrettable developments mean that millions of fans have found out about the dreadful plight of the Baudelaire orphans, but you do not have to. You have been warned. Have you read all four mysterious titles in the Wrong Questions series? `Who Could That Be at the This Hour?' `When Did You Last See Her?' `Shouldn't You Be in School?' `Why is This Night Different from All Other Nights?' Author Lemony Snicket was born before you were and is likely to die before you as well. He was born in a small town where the inhabitants were suspicious and prone to riot. He grew up near the sea and currently lives beneath it. Until recently, he was living somewhere else. He is a broken man, wracked with misery and despair as a result of writing 'A Series of Unfortunate Events'. He spends his days wandering the countryside weeping and moaning and his evenings eating hastily-prepared meals. Artist Seth has portrayed suspicious circumstances and shady characters in much of his work. He is a multi-award-winning cartoonist, author and artist, whose works include Palookaville and Clyde Fans.

The Bad Beginning

`If you are interested in stories with happy endings, you would be better off reading some other book.' Violet, Klaus and Sunny Baudelaire are most unfortunate children. Orphaned after the sudden death of their parents in a house fire, they are left in the hands of their guardian, Count Olaf, who has diabolical plans for them . . . `A Series of Unfortunate Events' has sold more than 60 million copies worldwide, has been translated into 41 languages and was adapted into a 2004 film starring Jim Carrey. `Wicked good fun' - Kirkus Reviews

"e;Why Is This Night Different from All Other Nights?"e;

Before the Baudelaires became orphans, before he encountered A Series of Unfortunate Events, even before the invention of Netflix, Lemony Snicket was a boy discovering the mysteries of the world. Train travel! Murder! Librarians! A Series Finale! On all other nights, the train departs from Stain'd Station and travels to the city without stopping. But not tonight. You might ask, why is this night different from all other nights? But that's the wrong question. Instead ask, where is this all heading? And what happens at the end of the line? The final book in Lemony Snicket's bestselling series, All the Wrong Questions. span

Shouldn't You Be in School?

Shouldn't You Be in School?

Shouldn't You Be in School?

Before he wrote 'A Series of Unfortunate Events', before the Baudelaires became orphans, even before the invention of Netflix, Lemony Snicket asked all the wrong questions. Four to be exact. This is the account of the third question. Young apprentice Lemony Snicket is investigating a case of arson but soon finds himself enveloped in the ever-increasing mystery that haunts the town of Stain'd-by-the-Sea. Who is setting the fires? What secrets are hidden in the Department of Education? Why are so many schoolchildren in danger? Is it all the work of the notorious villain Hangfire? How could you even ask that? What kind of education have you had? In the tradition of great storytellers, from Dickens to Dahl, comes an exquisitely dark comedy that is both literary and irreverent. You'll laugh only if you find humour in gothic and mysterious things involving detectives and crime solving. Lemony's other literary outings in `A Series of Unfortunate Events' have sold 60 million copies worldwide and been made into a Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey and a Netflix series starring Neil Patrick Harris. These regrettable developments mean that millions of fans have found out about the dreadful plight of the Baudelaire orphans, but you do not have to. You have been warned. Have you read all four mysterious titles in the Wrong Questions series? `Who Could That Be at the This Hour?' `When Did You Last See Her?' `Shouldn't You Be in School?' `Why is This Night Different from All Other Nights?' Author Lemony Snicket was born before you were and is likely to die before you as well. He was born in a small town where the inhabitants were suspicious and prone to riot. He grew up near the sea and currently lives beneath it. Until recently, he was living somewhere else. He is a broken man, wracked with misery and despair as a result of writing 'A Series of Unfortunate Events'. He spends his days wandering the countryside weeping and moaning and his evenings eating hastily-prepared meals. Artist Seth has portrayed suspicious circumstances and shady characters in much of his work. He is a multi-award-winning cartoonist, author and artist, whose works include Palookaville and Clyde Fans. Praise for Who Could That Be at This Hour?: `Charming, clever and enormously enjoyable' Guardian `Wonderfully eccentric and addictive ... Just beautiful writing' Observer `Better than ever' Independent `A dazzlingly clever, funny and literary concoction' Irish Times

13 Words

From bestselling author Lemony Snicket and celebrated illustrator Maira Kalman comes an uproarious, whimsical word book like no other. Together, Snicket and Kalman present a strikingly beautiful journey woven from a practical introduction to thirteen wonderful words, featuring such marvels as Bird, Dog, Panache, and Haberdashery. Snicket, the notoriously clever and elusive New York Times bestselling author, pushes the boundaries of storytelling in the most fanciful of ways. Maira Kalman, renowned for her art and design, carries this madcap adventure to wondrous heights with her vision of a world populated with hats, song, and cake. This rollicking, surprising book is a true celebration of words.

"e;Shouldn't You Be in School?"e;

Before the Baudelaires became orphans, before he encountered A Series of Unfortunate Events, even before the invention of Netflix, Lemony Snicket was a boy discovering the mysteries of the world.Is Lemony Snicket a detective or a smoke detector?Do you smell smoke? Young apprentice Lemony Snicket is investigating a case of arson but soon finds himself enveloped in the ever-increasing mystery that haunts the town of Stain'd-by-the-Sea. Who is setting the fires? What secrets are hidden in the Department of Education? Why are so many schoolchildren in danger? Is it all the work of the notorious villain Hangfire? How could you even ask that? What kind of education have you had?Maybe you should be in school?

When Did You See Her Last?

When Did You See Her Last?

Who Could That Be At This Hour?

Who Could That Be At This Hour?

When Did You See Her Last?

Before he wrote 'A Series of Unfortunate Events', Lemony Snicket asked all the wrong questions. Four to be exact. This is the account of the second question. In the fading town of Stain'd-by-the-Sea, young apprentice Lemony Snicket has a new case to solve when he and his chaperone are hired to find a missing girl. Is the girl a runaway? Or was she kidnapped? Was she seen last at the grocery store? Or could she have stopped at the diner? Is it really any of your business? In the tradition of great storytellers, from Dickens to Dahl, comes an exquisitely dark comedy that is both literary and irreverent. You'll laugh only if you find humour in gothic and mysterious things involving detectives and crime solving. Lemony's other literary outings in, `A Series of Unfortunate Events' have sold 60 million copies worldwide and been made into a Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey. And in the future things are poised to get much worse, thanks to the forthcoming Netflix series directed by Barry Sonnenfeld. You have been warned. Have you read all four mysterious titles in the Wrong Questions series? `Who Could That Be at the This Hour?' `When Did You See Her Last?' `Shouldn't You Be in School?' `Why is This Night Different from All Other Nights?' Author Lemony Snicket was born before you were and is likely to die before you as well. He was born in a small town where the inhabitants were suspicious and prone to riot. He grew up near the sea and currently lives beneath it. Until recently, he was living somewhere else. He is a broken man, wracked with misery and despair as a result of writing 'A Series of Unfortunate Events'. He spends his days wandering the countryside weeping and moaning and his evenings eating hastily-prepared meals. Artist Seth has portrayed suspicious circumstances and shady characters in much of his work. He is a multi-award-winning cartoonist, author and artist, whose works include Palookaville and Clyde Fans.

The Dark

A universal and empowering story about conquering your fears, from Lemony Snicket and Jon Klassen. Laszlo is afraid of the dark. The dark lives in the same house as Laszlo but mostly it spends its time in the basement. It doesn't visit Laszlo in his room. Until one night it does . . . Join Lazlo on his journey to meet the dark, and find out why it will never bother him again. With emotional insight and poetic economy, two world-renowned talents of children's literature bring to light a powerful story about overcoming fears. The originality of The Dark is breathtaking - The Times A reassuring story for any children who may be afraid of the dark - Sunday Express If ever there was a perfect creative pairing of words and pictures, surely this is it - Daily Mail Thoughtful, perceptive and very reassuring - Parents In Touch

File Under: 13 Suspicious Incidents (Reports 1-6)

Before the Baudelaires became orphans, before he encountered A Series of Unfortunate Events, even before the invention of Netflix, Lemony Snicket was a boy discovering the mysteries of the world.Match wits with Lemony Snicket to solve thirteen mini-mysteries.Paintings have been falling off of walls, a loud and loyal dog has gone missing, a specter has been seen walking the pier at midnight -- strange things are happening all over the town of Stain'd-By-The-Sea. Called upon to investigate thirteen suspicious incidents, young Lemony Snicket collects clues, questions witnesses, and cracks every case. Join the investigation and tackle the mysteries alongside Snicket, then turn to the back of the book to see the solution revealed.A delicious read that welcomes readers into Lemony Snicket's world of deep mystery, mysterious depth, deductive reasoning, and reasonable deductions.

"e;When Did You See Her Last?"e;

Before the Baudelaires became orphans, before he encountered A Series of Unfortunate Events, even before the invention of Netflix, Lemony Snicket was a boy discovering the mysteries of the world. I should have asked the question "e;How could someone who was missing be in two places at once?"e; Instead, I asked the wrong question -- four wrong questions, more or less. This is the account of the second.In the fading town of Stain'd-by-the-Sea, young apprentice Lemony Snicket has a new case to solve when he and his chaperone are hired to find a missing girl. Is the girl a runaway? Or was she kidnapped? Was she seen last at the grocery store? Or could she have stopped at the diner? Is it really any of your business? These are All The Wrong Questions.

When Did You See Her Last?

Before he wrote 'A Series of Unfortunate Events', before the Baudelaires became orphans, even before the invention of Netflix, Lemony Snicket asked all the wrong questions. Four to be exact. This is the account of the second question. In the fading town of Stain'd-by-the-Sea, young apprentice Lemony Snicket has a new case to solve when he and his chaperone are hired to find a missing girl.Is the girl a runaway? Or was she kidnapped? Was she seen last at the grocery store? Or could she have stopped at the diner? Is it really any of your business?In the tradition of great storytellers, from Dickens to Dahl, comes an exquisitely dark comedy that is both literary and irreverent. You'll laugh only if you find humour in gothic and mysterious things involving detectives and crime solving.Lemony's other literary outings in 'A Series of Unfortunate Events' have sold millioncopies worldwide and been made into a Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey and a Netflix series starring Neil Patrick Harris. Theseregrettable developments mean thatmillionsof fans have found out about the dreadful plight of the Baudelaire orphans, but you do not have to.You have been warned.Have you read all four mysterious titles in the Wrong Questions series?'Who Could That Be at the This Hour?''When Did You See Her Last?''Shouldn't You Be in School?''Why is This Night Different from All Other Nights?'Author Lemony Snicket was born before you were and is likely to die before you as well. He was born in a small town where the inhabitants were suspicious and prone to riot. He grew up near the sea and currently lives beneath it. Until recently, he was living somewhere else. He is a broken man, wracked with misery and despair as a result of writing 'A Series of Unfortunate Events'. He spends his days wandering the countryside weeping and moaning and his evenings eating hastily-prepared meals.Artist Seth has portrayed suspicious circumstances and shady characters in much of his work. He is a multi-award-winning cartoonist, author and artist, whose works include Palookaville and Clyde Fans.

Who Could That Be at This Hour?

The first volume in the highly anticipated new series by Lemony Snicket, author of A Series of Unfortunate Events In a fading town, far from anyone he knew or trusted, a young Lemony Snicket began his apprenticeship in an organization nobody knows about. He began asking questions that shouldn't have been on his mind. Now he has written an account that should not be published, in four volumes that shouldn't be read. This is the first volume. `Charming, clever and enormously enjoyable' Guardian `Wonderfully eccentric and addictive ... Just beautiful writing' Observer `Better than ever' Independent `A dazzlingly clever, funny and literary concoction.' Irish Times

The Dark

Laszlo is afraid of the dark. The dark lives in the same house as Laszlo but mostly it spends its time in the basement. It doesn't visit Laszlo in his room. Until one night it does. With emotional insight and poetic economy, Lemony Snicket and Jon Klassen bring to light a universal and empowering story about conquering fear. Join a brave boy on his journey to meet the dark, and see why it will never bother him again.

"e;Who Could That Be at This Hour?"e;

Before the Baudelaires became orphans, before he encountered A Series of Unfortunate Events, even before the invention of Netflix, Lemony Snicket was a boy discovering the mysteries of the world.In a fading town, far from anyone he knew or trusted, a young Lemony Snicket began his apprenticeship in an organization nobody knows about. He started by asking questions that shouldn't have been on his mind. Now he has written an account that should not be published, in four volumes that shouldn't be read. This is the first volume.Penned in signature style, "e;Who Could That Be at This Hour?"e; (also published as All the Wrong Questions: Question 1) invites readers to untangle the mysteries that surround young Lemony Snicket.

Who Could That be at This Hour?

In the pages of A Series of Unfortunate Events, Lemony Snicket provided nothing but misery and despair. Now he has written an account that should not be published, in four volumes that shouldn't be read. This is the first volume of All The Wrong Questions entitled Who Could That Be At This Hour? But remember, you still have time to choose another international best-selling author to read. With 5 million copies of A Series of Unfortunate Events sold in the UK alone, one might consider Lemony Snicket to be one of the most successful children's authors of the past decade. We, however, are less than interested in learning how, in a fading town, far from anyone he knew or trusted, a young Lemony Snicket began his apprenticeship in an organization nobody knows about. Or how he started asking questions that shouldn't have been on his mind. In fact his miserable so-called adventure stories and the Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey that accompanied his books for children may be considered nothing more than a dreadful mistake.

The Grim Grotto

Dear reader, There is nothing to be found in Lemony Snicket's `A Series of Unfortunate Events' but misery and despair. You still have time to choose another international best-selling series to read. But if you insist on discovering the unpleasant adventures of the Baudelaire orphans, then proceed with caution... Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent children. They are charming, and resourceful, and have pleasant facial features. Unfortunately, they are exceptionally unlucky. In The Grim Grotto, the siblings face mushrooms, a desperate search for something lost, a mechanical monster, a distressing message from a lost friend, and tap dancing... In the tradition of great storytellers, from Dickens to Dahl, comes an exquisitely dark comedy that is both literary and irreverent, hilarious and deftly crafted. Despite their wretched contents, `A Series of Unfortunate Events' has sold 60 million copies worldwide and been made into a Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey. And in the future things are poised to get much worse, thanks to the forthcoming Netflix series starring Neil Patrick Harris. You have been warned. Are you unlucky enough to own all 13 adventures? The Bad Beginning The Reptile Room The Wide Window The Miserable Mill The Austere Academy The Ersatz Elevator The Vile Village The Hostile Hospital The Carnivorous Carnival The Slippery Slope The Grim Grotto The Penultimate Peril The End And what about All the Wrong Questions? In this four-book series a 13-year-old Lemony chronicles his dangerous and puzzling apprenticeship in a mysterious organisation that nobody knows anything about: `Who Could That Be at This Hour?' `When Did you Last See Her?' `Shouldn't You Be in School?' `Why is This Night Different from All Other Nights?' Lemony Snicket was born before you were and is likely to die before you as well. He was born in a small town where the inhabitants were suspicious and prone to riot. He grew up near the sea and currently lives beneath it. Until recently, he was living somewhere else. Brett Helquist was born in Ganado, Arizona, grew up in Orem, Utah, and now lives in New York City. He earned a bachelor's degree in fine arts from Brigham Young University and has been illustrating ever since. His art has appeared in many publications, including Cricket magazine and The New York Times.

The Reptile Room

Dear reader, There is nothing to be found in Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events but misery and despair. You still have time to choose another international best-selling series to read. But if you insist on discovering the unpleasant adventures of the Baudelaire orphans, then proceed with caution... Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent children. They are charming, and resourceful, and have pleasant facial features. Unfortunately, they are exceptionally unlucky. In The Reptile Room the siblings endure a car accident, a terrible smell, a deadly serpent, a long knife, a brass reading lamp, and the re-appearance of a person they'd hoped never to see again. In the tradition of great storytellers, from Dickens to Dahl, comes an exquisitely dark comedy that is both literary and irreverent, hilarious and deftly crafted. Despite their wretched contents, A Series of Unfortunate Events has sold 60 million copies worldwide and been made into a Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey. And in the future things are poised to get much worse, thanks to the forthcoming Netflix series directed by Barry Sonnenfeld. You have been warned. Are you unlucky enough to own all 13 adventures? The Bad Beginning The Reptile Room The Wide Window The Miserable Mill The Austere Academy The Ersatz Elevator The Vile Village The Hostile Hospital The Carnivorous Carnival The Slippery Slope The Grim Grotto The Penultimate Peril The End And what about All The Wrong Questions? In this four-book series a 13-year-old Lemony chronicles his dangerous and puzzling apprenticeship in a mysterious organisation that nobody knows anything about: `Who Could That Be at This Hour?' `When Did you Last See Her?' `Shouldn't You Be in School?' `Why is This Night Different from All Other Nights?' Lemony Snicket was born before you were and is likely to die before you as well. He was born in a small town where the inhabitants were suspicious and prone to riot. He grew up near the sea and currently lives beneath it. Until recently, he was living somewhere else. Brett Helquist was born in Ganado, Arizona, grew up in Orem, Utah, and now lives in New York City. He earned a bachelor's degree in fine arts from Brigham Young University and has been illustrating ever since. His art has appeared in many publications, including Cricket magazine and The New York Times.

The Bad Beginning

Dear reader, There is nothing to be found in Lemony Snicket's `A Series of Unfortunate Events' but misery and despair. You still have time to choose another international best-selling series to read. But if you insist on discovering the unpleasant adventures of the Baudelaire orphans, then proceed with caution... Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent children. They are charming, and resourceful, and have pleasant facial features. Unfortunately, they are exceptionally unlucky. In The Bad Beginning, the siblings encounter a greedy and repulsive villain, itchy clothing, a disastrous fire, a plot to steal their fortune and cold porridge for breakfast. In the tradition of great storytellers, from Dickens to Dahl, comes an exquisitely dark comedy that is both literary and irreverent, hilarious and deftly crafted. Despite their wretched contents, `A Series of Unfortunate Events' has sold 60 million copies worldwide and been made into a Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey. And in the future things are poised to get much worse, thanks to the forthcoming Netflix series starring Neil Patrick Harris. You have been warned. Are you unlucky enough to own all 13 adventures? The Bad Beginning The Reptile Room The Wide Window The Miserable Mill The Austere Academy The Ersatz Elevator The Vile Village The Hostile Hospital The Carnivorous Carnival The Slippery Slope The Grim Grotto The Penultimate Peril The End And what about All the Wrong Questions? In this four-book series a 13-year-old Lemony chronicles his dangerous and puzzling apprenticeship in a mysterious organisation that nobody knows anything about: `Who Could That Be at This Hour?' `When Did you Last See Her?' `Shouldn't You Be in School?' `Why is This Night Different from All Other Nights?' Lemony Snicket was born before you were and is likely to die before you as well. He was born in a small town where the inhabitants were suspicious and prone to riot. He grew up near the sea and currently lives beneath it. Until recently, he was living somewhere else. Brett Helquist was born in Ganado, Arizona, grew up in Orem, Utah, and now lives in New York City. He earned a bachelor's degree in fine arts from Brigham Young University and has been illustrating ever since. His art has appeared in many publications, including Cricket magazine and The New York Times.

The Wide Window

Dear reader, There is nothing to be found in Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events but misery and despair. You still have time to choose another international best-selling series to read. But if you insist on discovering the unpleasant adventures of the Baudelaire orphans, then proceed with caution... Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent children. They are charming, and resourceful, and have pleasant facial features. Unfortunately, they are exceptionally unlucky. In The Wide Window the siblings encounter a hurricane, a signalling device, hungry leaches, cold cucumber soup, a horrible villain and a doll named Pretty Penny. In the tradition of great storytellers, from Dickens to Dahl, comes an exquisitely dark comedy that is both literary and irreverent, hilarious and deftly crafted. Despite their wretched contents, A Series of Unfortunate Events has sold 60 million copies worldwide and been made into a Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey. And in the future things are poised to get much worse, thanks to the forthcoming Netflix series directed by Barry Sonnenfeld. You have been warned. Are you unlucky enough to own all 13 adventures? The Bad Beginning The Reptile Room The Wide Window The Miserable Mill The Austere Academy The Ersatz Elevator The Vile Village The Hostile Hospital The Carnivorous Carnival The Slippery Slope The Grim Grotto The Penultimate Peril The End And what about All The Wrong Questions? In this four-book series a 13-year-old Lemony chronicles his dangerous and puzzling apprenticeship in a mysterious organisation that nobody knows anything about: `Who Could That Be at This Hour?' `When Did you Last See Her?' `Shouldn't You Be in School?' `Why is This Night Different from All Other Nights?' Lemony Snicket was born before you were and is likely to die before you as well. He was born in a small town where the inhabitants were suspicious and prone to riot. He grew up near the sea and currently lives beneath it. Until recently, he was living somewhere else. Brett Helquist was born in Ganado, Arizona, grew up in Orem, Utah, and now lives in New York City. He earned a bachelor's degree in fine arts from Brigham Young University and has been illustrating ever since. His art has appeared in many publications, including Cricket magazine and The New York Times.

The Hostile Hospital

Dear reader, There is nothing to be found in Lemony Snicket's `A Series of Unfortunate Events' but misery and despair. You still have time to choose another international best-selling series to read. But if you insist on discovering the unpleasant adventures of the Baudelaire orphans, then proceed with caution... Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent children. They are charming, and resourceful, and have pleasant facial features. Unfortunately, they are exceptionally unlucky. In The Hostile Hospital the siblings face a suspicious shopkeeper, unnecessary surgery, heart-shaped balloons, and some very startling news about a fire. In the tradition of great storytellers, from Dickens to Dahl, comes an exquisitely dark comedy that is both literary and irreverent, hilarious and deftly crafted. Despite their wretched contents, `A Series of Unfortunate Events' has sold 60 million copies worldwide and been made into a Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey. And in the future things are poised to get much worse, thanks to the forthcoming Netflix series starring Neil Patrick Harris. You have been warned. Are you unlucky enough to own all 13 adventures? The Bad Beginning The Reptile Room The Wide Window The Miserable Mill The Austere Academy The Ersatz Elevator The Vile Village The Hostile Hospital The Carnivorous Carnival The Slippery Slope The Grim Grotto The Penultimate Peril The End And what about All the Wrong Questions? In this four-book series a 13-year-old Lemony chronicles his dangerous and puzzling apprenticeship in a mysterious organisation that nobody knows anything about: `Who Could That Be at This Hour?' `When Did you Last See Her?' `Shouldn't You Be in School?' `Why is This Night Different from All Other Nights?' Lemony Snicket was born before you were and is likely to die before you as well. He was born in a small town where the inhabitants were suspicious and prone to riot. He grew up near the sea and currently lives beneath it. Until recently, he was living somewhere else. Brett Helquist was born in Ganado, Arizona, grew up in Orem, Utah, and now lives in New York City. He earned a bachelor's degree in fine arts from Brigham Young University and has been illustrating ever since. His art has appeared in many publications, including Cricket magazine and The New York Times.

The End

Dear reader, There is nothing to be found in Lemony Snicket's `A Series of Unfortunate Events' but misery and despair. You still have time to choose another international best-selling series to read. But if you insist on discovering the unpleasant adventures of the Baudelaire orphans, then proceed with caution... Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent children. They are charming, and resourceful, and have pleasant facial features. Unfortunately, they are exceptionally unlucky. In The End, the siblings face a fearsome storm, a suspicious beverage, a herd of wild sheep, an enormous bird cage, and a truly haunting secret about the Baudelaire parents. In the tradition of great storytellers, from Dickens to Dahl, comes an exquisitely dark comedy that is both literary and irreverent, hilarious and deftly crafted. Despite their wretched contents, `A Series of Unfortunate Events' has sold 60 million copies worldwide and been made into a Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey. And in the future things are poised to get much worse, thanks to the forthcoming Netflix series directed by Neil Patrick Harris. You have been warned. Are you unlucky enough to own all 13 adventures? The Bad Beginning The Reptile Room The Wide Window The Miserable Mill The Austere Academy The Ersatz Elevator The Vile Village The Hostile Hospital The Carnivorous Carnival The Slippery Slope The Grim Grotto The Penultimate Peril The End And what about All the Wrong Questions? In this four-book series a 13-year-old Lemony chronicles his dangerous and puzzling apprenticeship in a mysterious organisation that nobody knows anything about: `Who Could That Be at This Hour?' `When Did you Last See Her?' `Shouldn't You Be in School?' `Why is This Night Different from All Other Nights?' Lemony Snicket was born before you were and is likely to die before you as well. He was born in a small town where the inhabitants were suspicious and prone to riot. He grew up near the sea and currently lives beneath it. Until recently, he was living somewhere else. Brett Helquist was born in Ganado, Arizona, grew up in Orem, Utah, and now lives in New York City. He earned a bachelor's degree in fine arts from Brigham Young University and has been illustrating ever since. His art has appeared in many publications, including Cricket magazine and The New York Times.

The Slippery Slope

Dear reader, There is nothing to be found in Lemony Snicket's `A Series of Unfortunate Events' but misery and despair. You still have time to choose another international best-selling series to read. But if you insist on discovering the unpleasant adventures of the Baudelaire orphans, then proceed with caution... Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent children. They are charming, and resourceful, and have pleasant facial features. Unfortunately, they are exceptionally unlucky. In The Slippery Slope the siblings face a secret message, a toboggan, a deceitful trap, a swarm of snow gnats and a scheming villain... In the tradition of great storytellers, from Dickens to Dahl, comes an exquisitely dark comedy that is both literary and irreverent, hilarious and deftly crafted. Despite their wretched contents, `A Series of Unfortunate Events' has sold 60 million copies worldwide and been made into a Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey. And in the future things are poised to get much worse, thanks to the forthcoming Netflix series starring Neil Patrick Harris. You have been warned. Are you unlucky enough to own all 13 adventures? The Bad Beginning The Reptile Room The Wide Window The Miserable Mill The Austere Academy The Ersatz Elevator The Vile Village The Hostile Hospital The Carnivorous Carnival The Slippery Slope The Grim Grotto The Penultimate Peril The End And what about All the Wrong Questions? In this four-book series a 13-year-old Lemony chronicles his dangerous and puzzling apprenticeship in a mysterious organisation that nobody knows anything about: `Who Could That Be at This Hour?' `When Did you Last See Her?' `Shouldn't You Be in School?' `Why is This Night Different from All Other Nights?' Lemony Snicket was born before you were and is likely to die before you as well. He was born in a small town where the inhabitants were suspicious and prone to riot. He grew up near the sea and currently lives beneath it. Until recently, he was living somewhere else. Brett Helquist was born in Ganado, Arizona, grew up in Orem, Utah, and now lives in New York City. He earned a bachelor's degree in fine arts from Brigham Young University and has been illustrating ever since. His art has appeared in many publications, including Cricket magazine and The New York Times.

The Miserable Mill

Dear reader, There is nothing to be found in Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events but misery and despair. You still have time to choose another international best-selling series to read. But if you insist on discovering the unpleasant adventures of the Baudelaire orphans, then proceed with caution... Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent children. They are charming, and resourceful, and have pleasant facial features. Unfortunately, they are exceptionally unlucky. In The Miserable Mill the siblings encounter a giant pincher machine, a bad casserole, a man with a cloud of smoke where his head should be, a hypnotist, a terrible accident and coupons. In the tradition of great storytellers, from Dickens to Dahl, comes an exquisitely dark comedy that is both literary and irreverent, hilarious and deftly crafted. Despite their wretched contents, A Series of Unfortunate Events has sold 60 million copies worldwide and been made into a Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey. And in the future things are poised to get much worse, thanks to the forthcoming Netflix series directed by Barry Sonnenfeld. You have been warned. Are you unlucky enough to own all 13 adventures? The Bad Beginning The Reptile Room The Wide Window The Miserable Mill The Austere Academy The Ersatz Elevator The Vile Village The Hostile Hospital The Carnivorous Carnival The Slippery Slope The Grim Grotto The Penultimate Peril The End And what about All The Wrong Questions? In this four-book series a 13-year-old Lemony chronicles his dangerous and puzzling apprenticeship in a mysterious organisation that nobody knows anything about: `Who Could That Be at This Hour?' `When Did you Last See Her?' `Shouldn't You Be in School?' `Why is This Night Different from All Other Nights?' Lemony Snicket was born before you were and is likely to die before you as well. He was born in a small town where the inhabitants were suspicious and prone to riot. He grew up near the sea and currently lives beneath it. Until recently, he was living somewhere else. Brett Helquist was born in Ganado, Arizona, grew up in Orem, Utah, and now lives in New York City. He earned a bachelor's degree in fine arts from Brigham Young University and has been illustrating ever since. His art has appeared in many publications, including Cricket magazine and The New York Times.

The Vile Village

Dear reader, There is nothing to be found in Lemony Snicket's `A Series of Unfortunate Events' but misery and despair. You still have time to choose another international best-selling series to read. But if you insist on discovering the unpleasant adventures of the Baudelaire orphans, then proceed with caution... Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent children. They are charming, and resourceful, and have pleasant facial features. Unfortunately, they are exceptionally unlucky. In The Vile Village the siblings face such unpleasant matters as migrating crows, an angry mob, a newspaper headline, the arrest of innocent people, the Deluxe cell, and some very strange hats. In the tradition of great storytellers, from Dickens to Dahl, comes an exquisitely dark comedy that is both literary and irreverent, hilarious and deftly crafted. Despite their wretched contents, `A Series of Unfortunate Events' has sold 60 million copies worldwide and been made into a Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey. And in the future things are poised to get much worse, thanks to the forthcoming Netflix series starring Neil Patrick Harris. You have been warned. Are you unlucky enough to own all 13 adventures? The Bad Beginning The Reptile Room The Wide Window The Miserable Mill The Austere Academy The Ersatz Elevator The Vile Village The Hostile Hospital The Carnivorous Carnival The Slippery Slope The Grim Grotto The Penultimate Peril The End And what about All the Wrong Questions? In this four-book series a 13-year-old Lemony chronicles his dangerous and puzzling apprenticeship in a mysterious organisation that nobody knows anything about: `Who Could That Be at This Hour?' `When Did you Last See Her?' `Shouldn't You Be in School?' `Why is This Night Different from All Other Nights?' Lemony Snicket was born before you were and is likely to die before you as well. He was born in a small town where the inhabitants were suspicious and prone to riot. He grew up near the sea and currently lives beneath it. Until recently, he was living somewhere else. Brett Helquist was born in Ganado, Arizona, grew up in Orem, Utah, and now lives in New York City. He earned a bachelor's degree in fine arts from Brigham Young University and has been illustrating ever since. His art has appeared in many publications, including Cricket magazine and The New York Times.

The Carnivorous Carnival

There is nothing to be found in the pages of A Series of Unfortunate Events but misery and despair. You still have time to choose another international best-seller to read. But if you must know what unpleasantries befall the charming and clever Baudelaire children read on . . . The Carnivorous Carnival contains such a distressing story that consuming any of its contents would be far more stomach-turning than even the most imbalanced meal. To avoid causing discomfort, it would be best if I didn't mention any of the ingredients of this story, particularly a confusing map, an ambidextrous person, an unruly crowd, a wooden plank and Chabo the Wolf Baby. Your time might be better filled with something more palatable such as eating your vegetables or feeding them to someone else. In the tradition of great storytellers, from Dickens to Dahl, comes an exquisitely dark comedy that is both literary and irreverent, hilarious and deftly crafted. Despite their wretched contents, 'A Series of Unfortunate Events' has sold 60 million copies worldwide and been made into a Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey. And in the future things are poised to get much worse, thanks to the forthcoming Netflix series starring Neil Patrick Harris. You have been warned. Are you unlucky enough to own all 13 adventures? The Bad Beginning The Reptile Room The Wide Window The Miserable Mill The Austere Academy The Ersatz Elevator The Vile Village The Hostile Hospital The Carnivorous Carnival The Slippery Slope The Grim Grotto The Penultimate Peril The End And what about All The Wrong Questions? In this four-book series a 13-year-old Lemony chronicles his dangerous and puzzling apprenticeship in a mysterious organisation that nobody knows anything about: `Who Could That Be at This Hour?' `When Did you Last See Her?' `Shouldn't You Be in School?' `Why is This Night Different from All Other Nights?' Lemony Snicket was born before you were and is likely to die before you as well. He was born in a small town where the inhabitants were suspicious and prone to riot. He grew up near the sea and currently lives beneath it. Until recently, he was living somewhere else. Brett Helquist was born in Ganado, Arizona, grew up in Orem, Utah, and now lives in New York City. He earned a bachelor's degree in fine arts from Brigham Young University and has been illustrating ever since. His art has appeared in many publications, including Cricket magazine and The New York Times.

The Penultimate Peril

Dear reader, There is nothing to be found in Lemony Snicket's `A Series of Unfortunate Events' but misery and despair. You still have time to choose another international best-selling series to read. But if you insist on discovering the unpleasant adventures of the Baudelaire orphans, then proceed with caution... Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent children. They are charming, and resourceful, and have pleasant facial features. Unfortunately, they are exceptionally unlucky. In The Penultimate Peril, the siblings face a harpoon gun, a rooftop sunbathing salon, two mysterious initials, three unidentified triplets, a notorious villain, and an unsavoury curry... In the tradition of great storytellers, from Dickens to Dahl, comes an exquisitely dark comedy that is both literary and irreverent, hilarious and deftly crafted. Despite their wretched contents, `A Series of Unfortunate Events' has sold 60 million copies worldwide and been made into a Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey. And in the future things are poised to get much worse, thanks to the forthcoming Netflix series starring Neil Patrick Harris. You have been warned. Are you unlucky enough to own all 13 adventures? The Bad Beginning The Reptile Room The Wide Window The Miserable Mill The Austere Academy The Ersatz Elevator The Vile Village The Hostile Hospital The Carnivorous Carnival The Slippery Slope The Grim Grotto The Penultimate Peril The End And what about All the Wrong Questions? In this four-book series a 13-year-old Lemony chronicles his dangerous and puzzling apprenticeship in a mysterious organisation that nobody knows anything about: `Who Could That Be at This Hour?' `When Did you Last See Her?' `Shouldn't You Be in School?' `Why is This Night Different from All Other Nights?' Lemony Snicket was born before you were and is likely to die before you as well. He was born in a small town where the inhabitants were suspicious and prone to riot. He grew up near the sea and currently lives beneath it. Until recently, he was living somewhere else. Brett Helquist was born in Ganado, Arizona, grew up in Orem, Utah, and now lives in New York City. He earned a bachelor's degree in fine arts from Brigham Young University and has been illustrating ever since. His art has appeared in many publications, including Cricket magazine and The New York Times.

The Austere Academy

Dear reader, There is nothing to be found in Lemony Snicket's 'A Series of Unfortunate Events' but misery and despair. You still have time to choose another international best-selling series to read. But if you insist on discovering the unpleasant adventures of the Baudelaire orphans, then proceed with caution... Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent children. They are charming, and resourceful, and have pleasant facial features. Unfortunately, they are exceptionally unlucky. In The Austere Academy the siblings face snapping crabs, strict punishments, dripping fungus, comprehensive exams, violin recitals, S.O.R.E. and the metric system. In the tradition of great storytellers, from Dickens to Dahl, comes an exquisitely dark comedy that is both literary and irreverent, hilarious and deftly crafted. Despite their wretched contents, 'A Series of Unfortunate Events' has sold 60 million copies worldwide and been made into a Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey. And in the future things are poised to get much worse, thanks to the forthcoming Netflix series directed by Barry Sonnenfeld. You have been warned. Are you unlucky enough to own all 13 adventures? The Bad Beginning The Reptile Room The Wide Window The Miserable Mill The Austere Academy The Ersatz Elevator The Vile Village The Hostile Hospital The Carnivorous Carnival The Slippery Slope The Grim Grotto The Penultimate Peril The End And what about All The Wrong Questions? In this four-book series a 13-year-old Lemony chronicles his dangerous and puzzling apprenticeship in a mysterious organisation that nobody knows anything about: `Who Could That Be at This Hour?' `When Did you Last See Her?' `Shouldn't You Be in School?' `Why is This Night Different from All Other Nights?' Lemony Snicket was born before you were and is likely to die before you as well. He was born in a small town where the inhabitants were suspicious and prone to riot. He grew up near the sea and currently lives beneath it. Until recently, he was living somewhere else. Brett Helquist was born in Ganado, Arizona, grew up in Orem, Utah, and now lives in New York City. He earned a bachelor's degree in fine arts from Brigham Young University and has been illustrating ever since. His art has appeared in many publications, including Cricket magazine and The New York Times.

The Ersatz Elevator

Dear reader, There is nothing to be found in Lemony Snicket's `A Series of Unfortunate Events' but misery and despair. You still have time to choose another international best-selling series to read. But if you insist on discovering the unpleasant adventures of the Baudelaire orphans, then proceed with caution... Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent children. They are charming, and resourceful, and have pleasant facial features. Unfortunately, they are exceptionally unlucky. In The Ersatz Elevatorthe siblings face a darkened staircase, a red herring, friends in a dire situation, three mysterious initials, a liar with an evil scheme, a secret passageway and parsley soda. In the tradition of great storytellers, from Dickens to Dahl, comes an exquisitely dark comedy that is both literary and irreverent, hilarious and deftly crafted. Despite their wretched contents, `A Series of Unfortunate Events' has sold 60 million copies worldwide and been made into a Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey. And in the future things are poised to get much worse, thanks to the forthcoming Netflix series starring Neil Patrick Harris. You have been warned. Are you unlucky enough to own all 13 adventures? The Bad Beginning The Reptile Room The Wide Window The Miserable Mill The Austere Academy The Ersatz Elevator The Vile Village The Hostile Hospital The Carnivorous Carnival The Slippery Slope The Grim Grotto The Penultimate Peril The End And what about All The Wrong Questions? In this four-book series a 13-year-old Lemony chronicles his dangerous and puzzling apprenticeship in a mysterious organisation that nobody knows anything about: `Who Could That Be at This Hour?' `When Did you Last See Her?' `Shouldn't You Be in School?' `Why is This Night Different from All Other Nights?' Lemony Snicket was born before you were and is likely to die before you as well. He was born in a small town where the inhabitants were suspicious and prone to riot. He grew up near the sea and currently lives beneath it. Until recently, he was living somewhere else. Brett Helquist was born in Ganado, Arizona, grew up in Orem, Utah, and now lives in New York City. He earned a bachelor's degree in fine arts from Brigham Young University and has been illustrating ever since. His art has appeared in many publications, including Cricket magazine and The New York Times.

Series of Unfortunate Events Collection: Books 4-6

NOW A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIESA Warning from the Publisher:Imagine you are wearing a bandage that needs to be removed. Are you the sort of person who tears the bandage right off, causing an enormous amount of pain in a short instance? Or do you prefer to spread your pain out over a longer period of time, by slowly unpeeling the bandage from your injury?If you are the first type of person, then this three-book electronic collection might be for you. All of the misery and woe available in three Lemony Snicket volumesThe Miserable Mill, The Austere Academy, and The Ersatz Elevatorhave been joined into one compactly miserable package, so readers foolish enough to read about the Baudelaire orphans can be unnerved in a slightly more economical fashion.If you are the second type of person, then volumesfour throughsix in A Series of Unfortunate Events might be for you. Even if you unwisely choose to read them at a more leisurely pace, you will encounter such atrocities as poorly paid employees, a hypnotist, an evil scheme, a gym teacher, dripping fungus, another evil scheme, a fake accent, three mysterious consonants, a red herring, and at least one more evil scheme.Of course, most people would prefer not to be injured at all. We salute these sensible people, who will doubtless not purchase any books by Lemony Snicket, no matter how conveniently bundled.

Series of Unfortunate Events Collection: Books 7-9

NOW A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIESA Warning from the Publisher:Would you rather sprain your ankle, bruise your hip, and lose a toe to frostbite on the same day? Or would you rather have these accidents happen on three different days?This electronic collection of volumesseven throughnine in A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket is the e-equivalent of having three ghastly accidents right in a row. Contained here are such unpleasantries as kidnapping, disguise, murder, paperwork, another disguise, heart-shaped balloons, false allegations, stiletto heels, a shattered crystal ball, a cryptic map, an irritating song, and quite a few more disguises, all bundled together into a continuous barrage of horror and dismay.The more sensible approach would be to read The Vile Village, The Hostile Hospital, and The Carnivorous Carnival months or even years apart from one another, so you have time to recuperate from the misery each volume offersor better yet, to turn your eyes away from Mr. Snicket's work and find an electronic experience that would cause you no distress whatsoever.

Series of Unfortunate Events Collection: Books 10-13

NOWA NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIESA Warning from the Publisher:If you have come this far, it is likely too late. Readers who have experienced the first nine volumes in A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket are usually so weakened by their dreadful knowledge of the Baudelaire orphans' story that they spend most of their time moaning and weeping, and have no strength to read The Slippery Slope, The Grim Grotto, The Penultimate Peril, or The End.If, by chance, your moaning and weeping is more or less under control, there is no need to further risk your physical, emotional, and literary health by reading the four remaining volumes in the series. It would be better to regain your strength by spending your time indulging in less alarming activities, such as whistling or making cupcakes for the elderly. After all, this collection contains all of the calamities in the last four volumes of A Series of Unfortunate Events, including abandoned condiments, cigarette smoking, a shocking revelation, a ridiculous laugh, a fearsome storm, a herd of wild sheep, a truly haunting secret about the Baudelaire parents, another shocking revelation, and Phil. There is no need to expose yourself to such atrocities, not after all you've been through already.

Series of Unfortunate Events Complete Collection: Books 1-13

NOW A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIESIf you have not read anything about the Baudelaire orphans, then before you read even one more sentence, you should know this: Violet, Klaus, and Sunny are kindhearted and quick-witted, but their lives are filled with bad luck and misery. All of the stories about these three children are unhappy and wretched and will most likely fill you with deep despair.From The Bad Beginning to The End, this comprehensive collection with unfortunate bonus material that may or may not include trivia questions, character profiles, and several very sad sentences is the only choice for people who simply cannot get enough of a bad thing!

Series of Unfortunate Events Collection: Books 1-3 with Bonus Material

NOW A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIESLemony Snickets unhappy tale of the unlucky Baudelaire siblings begins with The Bad Beginning. In this short bothersome book alone, the three orphans encounter a greedy and repulsive villain, itchy clothing, a disastrous fire, a plot to steal their fortune, and cold porridge for breakfast.Should you not mind deadly serpents, slippery salamanders, lumpy beds, large brass reading lamps, lng knives, and terrible odors, then proceed with caution to the second book in the miserable series, The Reptile Room.Readers unbothered by inclement weather, hungry leeches, and cold cucumber soup will want to continue with the third installment, The Wide Window. Others will not.If youve got the stomach to wade through the first three tragic tales in Lemony Snickets A Series of Unfortunate Events, then this troubling collection might be the one for you. Several loathsome extras, including a compilation of unsettling quotations and a very disturbing portrait, await those who successfully complete the wretched journey. Youve been warned!

The End

There is nothing to be found in the pages of A Series of Unfortunate Events but misery and despair. You still have time to choose another international best-seller to read. But if you must know what unpleasantries befall the charming and clever Baudelaire children read on...The End is the last in A Series of Unfortunate Events, and even if you braved the previous twelve volumes, you probably can't stand such unpleasantries as a fearsome storm, a suspicious beverage, a herd of wild sheep, an enormous bird cage, and a truly haunting secret about the Baudelaire parents. With 5 million copies sold in the UK alone, one might consider Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events to make him one of the most successful children's authors of the past decade. We, however, consider these miserable so-called adventure stories and the Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey that accompanied the books for children as nothing more than a dreadful mistake.

The Penultimate Peril

There is nothing to be found in the pages of A Series of Unfortunate Events but misery and despair. You still have time to choose another international best-seller to read. But if you must know what unpleasantries befall the charming and clever Baudelaire children read on . . . Sadly this next-to-last chronicle of the lives of the Baudelaire orphans, The Penultimate Peril, is next-to-first in its supply of unpleasantness. Probably the next-to-last things you would like to read about are a harpoon gun, a rooftop sunbathing salon, two mysterious initials, three unidentified triplets, a notorious villain and an unsavoury curry. Next-to-last things are the first thing to be avoided! With 5 million copies sold in the UK alone, one might consider Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events to make him one of the most successful children's authors of the past decade. We, however, consider these miserable so-called adventure stories and the Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey that accompanied the books for children as nothing more than a dreadful mistake.

The Slippery Slope

There is nothing to be found in the pages of A Series of Unfortunate Events but misery and despair. You still have time to choose another international best-seller to read. But if you must know what unpleasantries befall the charming and clever Baudelaire children read on . . . Like handshakes, house pets or raw carrots, many things are preferable when not slippery. Unfortunately the Baudelaires run into more than their fair share of slipperiness during their harrowing journey up and down a range of strange and distressing mountains in The Slippery Slope. In order to spare you repulsion it is best not to mention any more regarding a secret message, a toboggan, a deceitful trap, a swarm of snow gnats and a scheming villain. With 5 million copies sold in the UK alone, one might consider Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events to make him one of the most successful children's authors of the past decade. We, however, consider these miserable so-called adventure stories and the Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey that accompanied the books for children as nothing more than a dreadful mistake.

The Grim Grotto

The Grim Grotto Unless you are a slug, a sea anemone or mildew you probably prefer not to be damp. But unfortunately the Beaudelaires encounter an unpleasant amount of dampness as they descend into the depths of despair, underwater. You may wish to delve into some happier book in order to keep your eyes and your spirits from being moistened.

The Hostile Hospital

There is nothing to be found in the pages of A Series of Unfortunate Events but misery and despair. You still have time to choose another international best-seller to read. But if you must know what unpleasantries befall the charming and clever Baudelaire children read on . . . There are many pleasant things to read about, but The Hostile Hospital contains none of them. Within its pages are such burdensome details as a suspicious shopkeeper, unnecessary surgery, heartshaped balloons, and some very starling news about a fire. Clearly you do not want to read about such things. With 5 million copies sold in the UK alone, one might consider Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events to make him one of the most successful children's authors of the past decade. We, however, consider these miserable so-called adventure stories and the Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey that accompanied the books for children as nothing more than a dreadful mistake.

The Carnivorous Carnival

There is nothing to be found in the pages of these books but misery and despair. You still have time to choose something else to read. But if you must know what unpleasantries befall the charming and clever Baudelaire children read on...The Carnivorous Carnival - This carnivorous volume contains such a distressing story that consuming any of its contents would be far more stomach-turning than even the most imbalanced meal. To avoid causing discomfort, it would be best if I didn't mention any of the ingredients of this story, particularly a confusing map, an ambidextrous person, an unruly crowd, a wooden plank and Chabo the Wolf Baby. Your time might be better filled with something more palatable such as eating your vegetables or feeding them to someone else.

The Austere Academy

There is nothing to be found in the pages of A Series of Unfortunate Events but misery and despair. You still have time to choose another international best-seller to read. But if you must know what unpleasantries befall the charming and clever Baudelaire children read on...Within the chapters of The Austere Academy the children face snapping crabs, strict punishments, dripping fungus, comprehensive exams, violin recitals, S.O.R.E. and the metric system. With 5 million copies sold in the UK alone, one might consider Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events to make him one of the most successful children's authors of the past decade. We, however, consider these miserable so-called adventure stories and the Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey that accompanied the books for children as nothing more than a dreadful mistake.

The Vile Village

There is nothing to be found in the pages of A Series of Unfortunate Events but misery and despair. You still have time to choose another international best-seller to read. But if you must know what unpleasantries befall the charming and clever Baudelaire children read on...Within the chapters of The Vile Village Violet, Klaus and Sunny face such unpleasant matters as migrating crows, an angry mob, a newspaper headline, the arrest of innocent people, the Deluxe cell, and some very strange hats. With 5 million copies sold in the UK alone, one might consider Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events to make him one of the most successful children's authors of the past decade. We, however, consider these miserable so-called adventure stories and the Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey that accompanied the books for children as nothing more than a dreadful mistake.

The Ersatz Elevator

There is nothing to be found in the pages of A Series of Unfortunate Events but misery and despair. You still have time to choose another international best-seller to read. But if you must know what unpleasantries befall the charming and clever Baudelaire children read on...The Ersatz Elevator is the sixth instalment in A Series of Unfortunate Events in which Violet, Klaus and Sunny Baudelaire encounter a darkened staircase, a red herring, friends in a dire situation, three mysterious initials, a liar with an evil scheme, a secret passageway and parsley soda. With 5 million copies sold in the UK alone, one might consider Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events to make him one of the most successful children's authors of the past decade. We, however, consider these miserable so-called adventure stories and the Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey that accompanied the books for children as nothing more than a dreadful mistake.

The Miserable Mill

of A Series of Unfortunate Events but misery and despair. You still have time to choose another international best-seller to read. But if you must know what unpleasantries befall the charming and clever Baudelaire children read on...There are many pleasant things to read about, but The Miserable Mill contains none of them. Within its pages one will find a giant pincher machine, a bad casserole, a man with a cloud of smoke where his head should be, a hypnotist, a terrible accident and coupons. With 5 million copies sold in the UK alone, one might consider Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events to make him one of the most successful children's authors of the past decade. We, however, consider these miserable so-called adventure stories and the Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey that accompanied the books for children as nothing more than a dreadful mistake.

The Wide Window

There is nothing to be found in the pages of A Series of Unfortunate Events but misery and despair. You still have time to choose another international best-seller to read. But if you must know what unpleasantries befall the charming and clever Baudelaire children read on . . . In The Wide Window we encounter a story that includes a hurricane, a signalling device, hungry leaches, cold cucumber soup, a horrible villain and a doll named Pretty Penny. With 5 million copies sold in the UK alone, one might consider Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events to make him one of the most successful children's authors of the past decade. We, however, consider these miserable so-called adventure stories and the Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey that accompanied the books for children as nothing more than a dreadful mistake.

The Reptile Room

There is nothing to be found in the pages of A Series of Unfortunate Events but misery and despair. You still have time to choose another international best-seller to read. But if you must know what unpleasantries befall the charming and clever Baudelaire children read on...In The Reptile Room the siblings endure a car accident, a terrible smell, a deadly serpent, a long knife, a brass reading lamp, and the re-appearance of a person they'd hoped never to see again. With 5 million copies sold in the UK alone, one might consider Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events to make him one of the most successful children's authors of the past decade. We, however, consider these miserable so-called adventure stories and the Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey that accompanied the books for children as nothing more than a dreadful mistake.

The Bad Beginning

There is nothing to be found in the pages of A Series of Unfortunate Events but misery and despair. You still have time to choose another international best-seller to read. But if you must know what unpleasantries befall the charming and clever Baudelaire children read on...In The Bad Beginning the three youngsters encounter a greedy and repulsive villain, itchy clothing, a disastrous fire, a plot to steal their fortune and cold porridge for breakfast. Then again, why trouble yourself with the unfortunate resolutions? With 5 million copies sold in the UK alone, one might consider Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events to make him one of the most successful children's authors of the past decade. We, however, consider these miserable so-called adventure stories and the Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey that accompanied the books for children as nothing more than a dreadful mistake.

The Composer Is Dead

There's dreadful news from the symphony hall-the composer is dead! If you have ever heard an orchestra play, then you know that musicians are most certainly guilty of something. Where exactly were the violins on the night in question? Did anyone see the harp? Is the trumpet protesting a bit too boisterously? In this perplexing murder mystery, everyone seems to have a motive, everyone has an alibi, and nearly everyone is a musical instrument. But the composer is still dead. Perhaps you can solve the crime yourself. Join the Inspector as he interrogates all the unusual suspects. Then listen to the accompanying audio recording featuring Lemony Snicket and the music of Nathaniel Stookey performed by the San Francisco Symphony. Hear for yourself exactly what took place on that fateful, well-orchestrated evening.

Lump of Coal

This is a story about a lump of coal who can think, talk, and move itself around.Is there a more charming holiday tale to behold? Probably, but Lemony Snicket has not written one.

Horseradish Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

Life is a turbulent journey, fraught with confusion, heartbreak, and inconvenience. This book will not help. Many collections slap together the wit and wisdom of certain authors in the hopes of inspiring a reader at a crucial time in his or her life. This book contains a bouquet of alarming but inescapable truths from the work of Lemony Snicket, along with selections from his unpublished papers and remarks he has made at dinner parties and anarchist riots, in order to remind the reader that even the loftiest of inspirations contains a sharp, bitter kernel of dread - and vice versa.

The Puzzling Puzzles

Like school, prison or an enormous cake with a spyglass baked into it, this collection of puzzles and games will keep you 'out of trouble', a phrase which here means 'far away from distressing books'. In this book alone, Lemony Snicket has collected such instructive diversions as a do-it-yourself blindfold, a coded message, crossword puzzles, and a monkey fist. Lemony Snicket has spent many miserable years researching the lives of the Baudelaire orphans, but you can always do something much cheerier with your time.

Series of Unfortunate Events #13: The End

Dear Listener,You are presumably looking at the back of this audiobook, or the end of the end. The end of the end is the best place to begin the end, because if you listen to the end from the beginning of the beginning of the end to the end of the end of the end, you will arrive at the end of the end of your rope. This audiobook is the last in A Series of Unfortunate Events, and even if you braved the previous twelve volumes, you probably can't stand such unpleasantries as a fearsome storm, a suspicious beverage, a herd of wild sheep, an enormous bird cage, and a truly haunting secret about the Baudelaire parents.I also shouldn't mention the features of the interactive CD, which include:Perplexing word games Photos from The Lemony Snicket ArchivesArt from The Brett Helquist galleryIt has been my solemn occupation to complete the history of the Baudelaire orphans, and at last I am finished. You likely have some other occupation, so if I were you I would drop this audiobook at once, so the end does not finish you.With all due respect,Lemony Snicket

The End

Like an off-key violin concert, the Roman Empire, or food poisoning, all things must come to an end. Thankfully, this includes A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket. The final installment in Mr Snicket's baker's dozen of books will answer readers' most burning questions: Will Count Olaf prevail? Will the Baudelaires survive? Will the series end happily? If there's nothing out there, what was that noise? Then again, why trouble yourself with unfortunate resolutions? Avoid the thirteenth and final book of Lemony Snicket's international bestselling series and you'll never have to know what happens.

Book the Thirteenth - The End Complete & Unabridged

The thirteenth in the dreadful Series of Unfortunate Events continuing the story of the Baudelaire orphans. Read by Tim Curry. Listen if you dare! Snicket's saga about the charming, intelligent, and grossly unlucky Baudelaire orphans continues to alarm its distressed and suspicious fans the world over. The thirteenth audiobook features more than the usual dose of distressing details. Like an off-key violin concert, the Roman Empire, or food poisoning, all things must come to an end. Thankfully, this includes A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket. The final installment in Mr Snicket's baker's dozen of audiobooks will answer readers' most burning questions: Will Count Olaf prevail? Will the Baudelaires survive? Will the series end happily? If there's nothing out there, what was that noise? Then again, why trouble yourself with unfortunate resolutions? Avoid the thirteenth and final audiobook of Lemony Snicket's international bestselling series read by the ever gloomy Tim Curry and you'll never have to know what happens. This is one chilling recording you would be better off without.

Book the Twelfth - The Penultimate Peril

The twelth in the dreadful Series of Unfortunate Events continuing the story of the Baudelaire orphans. Read by Tim Curry. Listen if you dare! Snicket's saga about the charming, intelligent, and grossly unlucky Baudelaire orphans continues to alarm its distressed and suspicious fans the world over. The twelth book in this outrageous publishing effort features more than the usual dose of distressing details. This is one chilling recording you would be better off without.

The Penultimate Peril

NOW A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES Lemony Snicket returns with the last book before the last book of his bestselling A Series of Unfortunate Events. Scream and run away before the secrets of the series are revealed! Very little is known about Lemony Snicket and A Series of Unfortunate Events. What we do know is contained in the following brief list: The books have inexplicably sold millions and millions of copies worldwide People in more than 40 countries are consumed by consuming Snicket The movie was as sad as the books, if not more so Like unrefrigerated butter and fungus, the popularity of these books keeps spreading Even less is known about book the twelfth in this alarming phenomenon. What we do know is contained in the following brief list: In this book, things only get worse Count Olaf is still evil The Baudelaire orphans do not win a contest The title begins with the word 'The' Sometimes, ignorance is bliss.

Series of Unfortunate Events #12: The Penultimate Peril

After any harrowing struggle, it is nice to consider checking into a hotel for a rest. In fact, this might be just the break Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire could use after their wearying deep-sea adventure.A hotel can be a good choice for any family vacation. With so many floors, such a variety of rooms, and a curious array of guests, spending time in the safety of the right hotel can be the perfect learning environment for children of any age. A keen researcher like Klaus, an adept inventor like Violet, and a sharp-toothed culinary master like Sunny are all sure to find engaging diversions during their stay. Regardless of how they pass their time while at a hotel, the three siblings will be sure to take in all the interesting sights and sounds -- and write them down -- just in case this episode turns out to be the darkest yet in a series of unfortunate events.

The Penultimate Peril

This is the 12th book in Lemony Snicket's 'Series of Unfortunate Events'.

Book the Sixth - The Ersatz Elevator (A Series of Unfortunate Events, Book 6)

It's still not too late to change your mind about reading this information. Stop looking now. Please. Dear Customer, Like the previous CDs in A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS, there is nothing to be found in this narration but misery, despair and discomfort. This time, Violet, Klaus and Sunny Baudelaire encounter a darkened staircase, a red herring, some friends in a dire situation, three mysterious initials, a liar with an evil scheme, a secret passageway and parsley soda. I have sworn to record these tales of the Baudelaire orphans so the general public will know each terrible thing that has happened to them, but if you decide to listen to something else instead you will save yourself from a heapful of horror and woe. With all due respect, Lemony Snicket

Book the Second - The Reptile Room (A Series of Unfortunate Events, Book 2)

This story has a happy ending. No, wait, that was a different tape...Dear Customer, If you have picked up this sheet, you have probably not read the warning so clearly outlined in my prior message. This story may seem cheery at first, when the Baudelaire orphans spend time in the company of some interesting reptiles and a giddy uncle. But don't be fooled. The three siblings endure a car accident, a terrible odour, a deadly serpent, a long knife, a large brass reading lamp and the reappearance of a person they'd hoped never to see again. I have made a solemn vow to present this information to the public, but there is nothing stopping you from tearing up this paper and pretending you've never heard of this CD. Then you can sell something that is less unpleasant. With all due respect, Lemony Snicket

Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events The Bad Beginning , The Reptile Room , The Wide Window

Like school, prison or an enormous cake with a spyglass baked into it, this collection of puzzles and games will keep you 'out of trouble', a phrase which here means 'far away from distressing books and movies'. Lemony Snicket has spent many miserable years researching the lives of the Baudelaire orphans, but you can always do something much cheerier with your time.

Series of Unfortunate Events #1 Multi-Voice, A: The Bad Beginning

NOW A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIESLike a car alarm, bagpipe music, or a doorbell ringing in the middle of the night, hearing thisaudio edition of The Bad Beginning will only upset you. This unique multi-voice recording brings the first book in Lemony Snicket's alarming A Series of Unfortunate Events to such terrible life that no one should really have to experience it. Unless you have an ear for such ghastly details as a tragic fire, a nefarious villain, itchy clothing, and cold porridge for breakfast, all narrated in chilly detail by the distinguished, and disturbed, Tim Curry with a team of talented readers, you would be better off listening to something else.

The Grim Grotto

Unless you are a slug, a sea anemone, or mildew, you prabably prefer not to be damp. You might also prefer not to read this book, in which the Baudelaire siblings encounter an unpleasant amount of dampness as they descent into the depths of despair, underwater. In fact, the horrors they encounter are too numerous to list, and you wouldn't want me even to mention the worst of it, which includes mushrooms, a desperate search for something lost, a mechanical monster, a distressing message from a lost friend, and tap dancing. As a dedicated author who has pledged to keep recording the depressing story of the Baudelaires, I must continue to delve deep into the cavernous depths of the orphans' lives. You, on the other hand, may delve into some happier book in order to keep your eyes and your spirits from being dampened.

Series of Unfortunate Events #9: The Carnivorous Carnival

NOW A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIESEverybody loves a carnival! Who can fail to delight in the colourful people, the unworldly spectacle, the fabulous freaks?A carnival is a place for good family funas long as one has a family, that is. For the Baudelaire orphans, their time at the carnival turns out to be yet another episode in a now unbearable series of unfortunate events. In fact, in this appalling ninth installment in Lemony Snicket's serial, the siblings must confront a terrible lie, a caravan, and Chabo the wolf baby.With millions of readers worldwide, and the Baudelaire's fate turning from unpleasant to unseemly, it is clear that Lemony Snicket has taken nearly all the fun out of children's books.

Series of Unfortunate Events #8: The Hostile Hospital

Dear Listener,This audio is the only one which describes every last detail of the Baudelaire children's miserable stay at Heimlich Hospital, which makes it one of the most dreadful audios in the world.There are many pleasant things to listen to, but this audio contains not one of them. Within it are such gruesome details as a suspicious shopkeeper, unnecessary surgery, anesthesia, heart-shaped balloons, and some very startling news about a fire. Clearly you do not want to hear about such things.I also shouldn't mention the interactive features of the CD, which include:A perplexing word game Photos from The Lemony Snicket Archives Art from The Brett Helquist galleryI have sworn to research and record this story as best I can, so I should know that this audio is something best left on the ground, where you undoubtedly found it.With all due respect, Lemony Snicket

Series of Unfortunate Events #7: The Vile VillageDA

Dear Listener,Nobody in their right minds would listen to this particular book about the lives of Violet, Klaus and Sunny Baudelaire on purpose, because each dismal moment of their stay at the village of V.F.D. has been faithfully and dreadfully recorded on this CD. I can think of no reason why anyone would want to listen to a book containing such unpleasant matters as migrating crows, an angry mob, a newspaper headline, the Duluxe Cell, and some very strange hats.I also shouldn't mention the interactive features of the CD, which include:A perplexing word game Photos from The Lemony Snicket Archives Art from The Brett Helquist galleryIt is my solemn and sacred occupation to research each detail of the Baudelaire children's lives and write them all down, but you may decide to do some other sacred and solemn thing, such as listening to another book instead.With all due respect,Lemony Snicket

Series of Unfortunate Events #6: The Ersatz Elevator

Dear Reader,If you have just picked up this audio, then it is not too late to put it back down. Like the previous books in A Series of Unfortunate Events, there is nothing to be found in these pages but misery, despair, and discomfort, and you still have time to choose something else to read.Within the chapters of this story, Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire encounter a darkened staircase, a red herring, some friends in a dire situation, three mysterious initials, a liar with an evil scheme, a secret passageway, and parsley soda.I have sworn to write down these tales of the Baudelaire orphans so the general public will know each terrible thing that has happened to them, but if you decide to read something else instead, you will save yourself from a heapful of horror and woe.With all due respect,Lemony Snicket

Series of Unfortunate Events #5: The Austere Academy

WARNING: LISTENING TO THIS TAPE WILL ONLY MAKE YOU WEEP...Dear Listener,If you are looking for a story about cheerful youngsters spending a jolly time at boarding school, look elsewhere. Violet, Klaus and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent and resourceful children, and you might expect that they would do very well at school.Don't.For the Baudelaires, school turns out to be another miserable episode in their unlucky lives. Truth be told, within the chapters that make up this dreadful story, the children will face snapping crabs, strict punishments, dripping fungus, comprehensive exams, violin recitals. S.O.R.E., and the metric system.It is my solemn duty to stay up all night reading my history of these three hapless youngsters into a microphone, but you may be more comfortable getting a good night's sleep. In that case, you should probably listen to something else.With all due respect,LEMONY SNICKET

Series of Unfortunate Events #4: The Miserable Mill

Dear Listener, If you have chosen to listen to this audio for pleasure, I advise you to put it down instantaneously, because of all the audios describing the unhappy lives of the Baudelaire orphans, The Miserable Mill might be the unhappiest. This recording contains such unpleasantries as a giant pincher machine, a bad casserole, a man with a cloud of smoke where his head should be, and coupons. If you prefer stories that are more heartwarming, please feel free to make another selection. I also shouldn't mention the interactive features of the CD, which include: A perplexing word game Photos from The Lemony Snicket Archives Art from The Brett Helquist gallery I have promised to record the entire history of these poor children, but you haven't, so please feel free to make another selection. With all due respect, Lemony Snicket

Series of Unfortunate Events #3: The Wide Window

Dear Listener,I am sorry to say that the lives of the Baudelaire orphans, Violet, Klaus and Sunny, are filled with bad luck and misery. All of the stories about these three children are unhappy and wretched, and the one you are holding may be the worst of them all.If you haven't got the stomach for a story that includes a hurricane, hungry leeches, cold cucumber soup and a doll named Pretty Penny, then this audio will probably fill you with despair.I also shouldn't mention the interactive features of the CD, which include: A perplexing word game Photos from The Lemony Snicket Archives Art from The Brett Helquist gallery I will continue to record these tragic tales for that is what I do. You should decide for yourself if you can possibly endure this miserable story.With all due respect,Lemony Snicket

Series of Unfortunate Events #11: The Grim Grotto

Dear Listener,Unless you are a slug, a sea anemone, or mildew, you probably prefer not to be damp. You might also prefer not to listen to this audiobook, in which the Baudelaire siblings descend into the depths of despair, underwater. The horrors they encounter are too numerous to list, and include mushrooms, a mechanical monster, a distressing message from a lost friend, and tap dancing.I also shouldn't mention the features of the interactive CD, which include:l Perplexing word games l Photos from The Lemony Snicket Archives l l Art from The Brett Helquist gallery l As a dedicated author who has pledged to keep recording the depressing story of the Baudelaires, I must continue to delve deep into the cavernous depths of the orphans' lives. You, on the other hand, may delve into some happier audiobook in order to keep your ears and your spirits from being dampened.With all due respect,Lemony Snicket

Series of Unfortunate Events #10: The Slippery Slope

NOW A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIESDISCLAIMER: The long term effects of listening to this audio are unknown. Scientists have detected slightly higher rates of panic, fright and free-floating anxiety amongst listeners to this audio than that found in those listeners who engaged in more pleasant listening activities. Dear Listener,Like handshakes or housepets, many things are preferable when not slippery. Unfortunately, in this miserable volume, I am afraid that Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire run into more than their fair share of slipperiness during their harrowing journey upand downa range of strange and distressing mountains. It would be best not to mention any of the unpleasant details of this story, particularly a secret message, a swarm of snow gnats, a scheming villain, a covered casserole dish, and a surprising survivor of a terrible fire.Unfortunately, I have dedicated my life to researching and recording the sad tale of the Baudelaire Orphans. There is no reason for you to dedicate yourself to such things, and you might instead dedicate yourself to letting this slippery audio slip from your hands into a nearby trash receptacle, or deep pit.With all due respect,Lemony Snicket

The Slippery Slope

Klaus and Violet attempt to follow their sister, who is trapped by Count Olaf in a car driving fast up the mountain. First they must stop the caravan they are travelling in hurtling over a cliff. While Sunny is obliged to make breakfast for Count Olaf, his unpleasant associates and the repellent Esme Squalor, Klaus and Violet have come across Carmelita Spats in a cave, and, incredibly, Quigley, the last Quagmire triplet who is in fact alive. Climbing up to the smouldering remains of the VFD headquarters, the Baudelaires find themselves at the bottom of a steep, icy slope, leading up to Count Olaf and Sunny. Olaf has been joined by people even more evil than he is, and kidnaps Carmelita, while the Baudelaires escape along the Stricken Stream, hoping to meet the survivors of VFD at Hotel Denouement.

The Carnivorous Carnival

The ninth in the Series of Unfortunate Events continuing the story of the Baudelaire orphans. Read by Tim Curry. This carnivorous work contains such a distressing story that consuming any of its contents would be far more stomach-turning than even the most imbalanced meal. Read if you dare!!!

The Miserable Mill

The Ersatz Elevator

The Wide Window

The Reptile Room

The Bad Beginning

The Austere Academy

The Hostile Hospital

Fleeing the village of VFD, after some time in the Deluxe cell for a murder they did not commit, the Baudelaires hide with the Volunteers Fighting Disease on their way to the Heimlich Hospital. Addressed by Babs, who can only be contacted through an intercom speaker on a desk, the orphans start work with the near-sighted Hal in the hospital library of records. Hal says he remembers a file in the records to do with the Snicket fires, but before the children can find it, Babs is suddenly replace by Mattathias - none other than Count Olaf - who plans to inspect every employee in the hospital. Staying late to find the file, the Baudelaires find a picture of their parents with Jacques Snicket, and another, partly obscured figure who may be a writer. But at that moment Esme Squalor arrives - Klaus and Sunny escape, but Violet is led to the operating theatre for a cranioectomy. Disguising themselves, Klaus and Sunny manage to rescue the unconscious Violet, but not before Esme has set fire to the library of records, adding arson to the false charges now facing the children. Chased through the now burning hospital, they make their escape, only to discover that the only way out is to hide in the trunk of Count Olaf's car - possibly the most dangerous place of all.

The Vile Village

Lemony Snicket Gift Pack A Bad Beginning , The Reptile Room , The Wide Window

A slipcase containing the CD editions of the first three stories in the Series of Unfortunate Events. I'm sorry to say that these CDs tell unhappy tales about three very unlucky children. Even though they are charming and clever, the Baudelaire siblings, Violet, Klaus and Sunny lead lives filled with misery and woe. From the very beginning when the children are at the beach and receive terrible news, disaster lurks at their heels, as they encounter a greedy and repulsive villain, itchy clothing, a disastrous fire, a plot to steal their fortune and cold porridge for breakfast. One might say they are magnets for misfortune. In The Reptile Room the story may seem cheery at first, when the Baudelaire children spend time in the company of some interesting reptiles and a giddy uncle, but don't be fooled, even pleasant events lead down the same road to misery. The three siblings endure a car accident, a terrible smell, a deadly serpent, a long knife, and the re-appearance of a person they'd hoped never to see again. And if you haven't got the stomach for a story that includes a hurricane, hungry leeches, cold cucumber soup, a horrible villain and a doll named Pretty Penny, then The Wide Window will probably fill you with despair. It is our duty to produce these unpleasant tales, but there is nothing stopping you from selling something happy and more heartwarming, if you prefer that sort of thing!

The Ersatz Elevator

Arriving at Dark Avenue, the three Baudelaire orphans, Violet, Klaus and little Sunny, begin their new life with Jerome and Esme Squalor. Jerome is a kind man, but he agrees unquestioningly with everything said by his wife, who is the city's sixth most important financial advisor. The Baudelaires find themselves in a strange world of in things: aqueous martinis (consisting of water with an olive), pinstripe suits (even for infant Sunny) and meals only involving salmon. Sadly, elevators are out, and the children are obliged to walk the many steps up to the Squalors' penthouse. Even more sadly, they soon meet Count Olaf again, disguised as the auctioneer Gunther, and discover that the ersatz elevator is not an elevator at all, but a shaft in which the Quagmire triplets are imprisoned. When they tell Esme of the triplets' fate, she shocks them by throwing them down the elevator too and revealing herself to be in league with Count Olaf. Sunny manages to escape using her teeth, and help her siblings out, who run down the ersatz passageway to emerge - in a spectacular climax - in the charred remains of their parents' mansion! With no time to reflect, they run to Esme's In Auction, hoping to save the Quagmires, but Esme and Olaf escape with the triplets, and the Baudelaires are once more left with only each other to rely on

The Miserable Mill

Mr Poe delivers the three Baudelaire orphans, Violet, Klaus and little Sunny, to their new guardian, the owner of the Lucky Smells Lumbermill in Paltryville. But far from living in the mill, they rapidly discover they will be working there and even worse, there is a book in the library by a Dr Orwell, sinisterly shaped like Count Olaf's eye tattoo. Each morning Foreman Flacutono wakes the workers by banging metal pots together and directs them through a day of arduous logscraping, with only chewing gum for lunch and damp casserole for dinner. Their guardian, a terrifying man with a cloud of smoke where his head should be, known only as 'Sir', proposes unsatisfactorily that if they work in his mill, he'll 'try' to keep Count Olaf away. Klaus trips over Foreman Flacutono's strategically placed foot and his glasses get broken. He returns from the village eye doctor, none other than Dr Orwell, strangely changed. Violet believes Klaus has been hypnotised, and when they discover Dr Orwell's receptionist, Shirley, is really Count Olaf dressed horribly, her worst fears are confirmed. Dr Orwell herself becomes the victim of the nasty accident at the lumbermill she, Foreman Flacutono and Shirley have arranged. Sir decides to pack the children off to their next dismal adventure at The Austere Academy.

When Did You See Her Last?

Before he wrote 'A Series of Unfortunate Events', before the Baudelaires became orphans, even before the invention of Netflix, Lemony Snicket asked all the wrong questions. Four to be exact. This is the account of the second question. In the fading town of Stain'd-by-the-Sea, young apprentice Lemony Snicket has a new case to solve when he and his chaperone are hired to find a missing girl. Is the girl a runaway? Or was she kidnapped? Was she seen last at the grocery store? Or could she have stopped at the diner? Is it really any of your business? In the tradition of great storytellers, from Dickens to Dahl, comes an exquisitely dark comedy that is both literary and irreverent. You'll laugh only if you find humour in gothic and mysterious things involving detectives and crime solving. Lemony's other literary outings in `A Series of Unfortunate Events' have sold 60 million copies worldwide and been made into a Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey and a Netflix series starring Neil Patrick Harris. These regrettable developments mean that millions of fans have found out about the dreadful plight of the Baudelaire orphans, but you do not have to. You have been warned. Have you read all four mysterious titles in the Wrong Questions series? `Who Could That Be at the This Hour?' `When Did You See Her Last?' `Shouldn't You Be in School?' `Why is This Night Different from All Other Nights?' Author Lemony Snicket was born before you were and is likely to die before you as well. He was born in a small town where the inhabitants were suspicious and prone to riot. He grew up near the sea and currently lives beneath it. Until recently, he was living somewhere else. He is a broken man, wracked with misery and despair as a result of writing 'A Series of Unfortunate Events'. He spends his days wandering the countryside weeping and moaning and his evenings eating hastily-prepared meals. Artist Seth has portrayed suspicious circumstances and shady characters in much of his work. He is a multi-award-winning cartoonist, author and artist, whose works include Palookaville and Clyde Fans.

The Hostile Hospital

NOW A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES The Baudelaires need a safe place to stay--somewhere far away from terrible villains and local police. A quiet refuge where misfortune never visits. Might Heimlich Hospital be just the place? In Lemony Snicket's eighth ghastly installment in A Series of Unfortunate Events, I'm sorry to say that the Baudelaire orphans will spend time in a hospital where they risk encountering a misleading newspaper headline, unnecessary surgery, an intercom system, anesthesia, heart-shaped balloons, and some very startling news about a fire.

The Wide Window

Having escaped Count Olaf's clutches for now, the three Baudelaire siblings, Violent, Klaus and Sunny, arrive on the shores of Lake Lachrymose to stay with their latest guardian, Aunt Josephine. Sadly, though kind and well-meaning, Aunt Josephine is terrified of absolutely everything: she will not heat her radiators, use the telephone or cook food, just in case those ordinary tasks prove fatal. Worse still, she gives Violet a doll called Pretty Penny and obsessively corrects the children's grammar. It is not long before local sailor Captain Sham, a thinly-disguised Count Olaf, gulls Aunt Josephine with the idea of a surprise for the children. Aunt Josephine suddenly goes missing that night, leaving a highly ungrammatical note, and the Baudelaire's must once again fight their way out of Count Olaf's wicked schemes. Finally, after sailing across the Lachrymose Lake in Hurricane Herman, a nasty moment in the Curdled Cave and an unpleasant encounter with the Lachrymose Leeches for Aunt Josephine, they unmask Captain Sham as Count Olaf. Olaf slips through their grasp once more but evilly promises to find them again, as he will in The Miserable Mill.

The Ersatz Elevator