Men and Things

Men and Things Synopsis

Excerpt from Men and Things: America's Best Funny Stories

WE left in the train for Switzerland, and reached Lucerne about ten o'clock at night. The first discovery I made was that the beauty of the lake had not been exaggerated. Within a day or two I made another discovery. This was, that the lauded Chamois is not a Wild goat; that it is not a horned animal; that it is not shy; that it does not avoid human society; and that there is no peril in hunting it. The Chamois is a black or brown creature no bigger than a mustard-seed; you do not have to go after it, it comes after you; it arrives in vast herds and Skips and scampers all over your body, inside your clothes; thus it is not Shy, but extremely sociable; it is not afraid of man, on the Contrary, it Will attack him; its bite is not dangerous, but neither is it pleasant; its activity has not been overstated, - if you try to put your finger on it, it will skip a thousand times its own length at one jump, and no eye is sharp enough to see Where it lights.

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